Husband comes home from Haiti. Both of us have hearts heavy for these children. We leave the airport and drive south to breakfast. We sit long in a booth at Mimi’s Cafe and talk over all he has seen and thought and felt in ten short days.
We discuss options, what both our hearts have felt, and agree to pray. He sleeps hard. I finally rest, no longer alone. The next day my heart still burns, anxious for what I feel the Lord saying. I never expect him to agree, so it seems not-as-scary to think these things. We talk over the sound of his shower, while I do my hair for church. My heart stops – he’s on the same page! Now it beats hard at the possibilities and how this will change everything.
There lives in Haiti a little girl, who from the first picture Matt sent back, my heart said that’s my daughter. I do not know what will come from this, we continue to wait for phone calls, but I know how my heart aches and I know how my husband looked at her in the photos taken by other team members. And I think of the vision Matt had once, years ago, of five daughters and how we have never had another one naturally…. She is ours in our hearts, and I can only pray that one day she will be ours in reality, if that is the Lord’s will.
There is also a little boy, whom my heart loves, but he has a sister there at the orphanage, and we will not separate siblings, and we do not feel called to adopt three, so we feel God is telling us no about the beautiful boy we wanted to bring home. And there are two other boys that we asked about, and both are in the process of adoption. And my heart is wildly happy for both of them and I laugh that perhaps God really doesn’t want us to have a son as He continues to close that door.
We do not know what the future holds. We are excited to see what God has in store. This could be a long, slow ride to bring our fifth daughter home. Or this could be a very fast trip toward a closed door. Or it could be something in between. We covet your prayers and promise to keep you posted.
Holding to His Wild Grace ~