After one last lazy day off (well, lazy for the girls anyway), we go back to school today. The grumbling started already on Sunday with murmurings of “hating” school and how boring it is and not wanting to start. And Satan wasted no time hitting me in the heart with those words, discouraging me, defeating me before I ever started the battle of second semester.
As kids were sent to rest for Sunday afternoon, I fell onto the couch next to Matt and asked for wisdom, encouragement. We talked for a bit and then he shared a wonderful illustration. Matt does construction for a living. He helps others make their homes more livable, more beautiful, more valuable. But he does remodeling, not new construction, so every project begins with demolition. And one day, in the not too distant future, someone else will come through and tear out all that he and his crews have done. Everything he does will one day be destroyed again. But in this daily task of raising children I am partnering with God to build something that will last for eternity.
And I make the point that therein lies part of my fear. I feel I’m walking blind in this day-to-day adventure we call home schooling. I grew up in a traditional school setting and teaching is not even remotely close to being one of my gifts or skills, and yet this is what I feel called to trade my days for. And thin-skinned as I am, I admit that it hurts when they say they hate it. So how do I know that what I’m doing with them isn’t just wood, hay, and stubble that will be burned away? How can I know that I am trading my days for things of eternal value?
Honestly, a lot of days I don’t know. I walk on in faith. I seek Him daily and ask Him to fill my cup to overflowing so that I can reflect His love and grace more fully to these children who often times seem set on destroying me. 😉 And He carries me on with glimpses of grace, hope in a desert land. He shows me the oldest gently playing dolls with the youngest. He shows me 2011 goal lists that include desires to “read my Bible daily, even on weekends” and “be kind to my sisters”. He shows me the child who volunteers to carry in groceries or clean the kitchen. He sends hope in their words and actions. He shows me laughter when I would normally want to scream or cry. He shows me my own growth and theirs.
And it is on these glimpses that we carry on. It is by clinging tightly to these things and God’s promises that we embark on the next sixteen weeks and really every day that lies ahead.
What about you? What daily challenges are a walk of blind faith?
May you be encouraged today as you face those challenges. Let us remember Romans 5 which tells us, “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame.”
For His Glory ~