Choices

I want to write, but the words come slow.  The house lies quiet still.  I will let them sleep a while longer.  Yesterday was a long day.  We all need rest.

One week.  One week until we go.  One week until I meet her.  One week until everything changes.

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Everyone asks if I am excited.  Of course I am excited!  But excited lies beneath busy and half-crazy and slightly stressed out.  Getting six of us ready for a trip of this length is no small undertaking.  The husband, he threatens not to take me on trips anymore.  I will have the freedom to feel excited in a week.  When the house sitter is here and the door is locked and all is done that can be done and good byes are said and we are headed out.  That’s when excitement will hit.

Until then, it’s one foot in front of the other, do the next thing, trying to whittle the to do list down to what is truly necessary, trying to keep it from taking over life and stealing time and stealing joy.

That’s the true challenge this week.  To find joy in the midst of the chaos.  I know this is what God continues to work in me this past year.  He prepares me for something, I know not what, I dare not wonder too much.  But lack of control is a running theme and I’m learning faster to notice it and to not resist it and fight for that control.  But I’m still a slow learner sometimes and will kick against Him for some time before I become too tired to fight any more.

So, joy.  That’s what I choose today.  In the midst of the swirling madness of family life, I choose joy.  In spite of seasonal depression that tries to sneak in and a whole hotbed of other raw, real emotions that bubble just below the surface, I choose joy.  In the face of Satan’s attacks and lists that run long and children that will be children and real life that is just inconvenient sometimes, I choose joy.

I know firsthand that my God is with me.  He is my very present help in time of trouble.  He has made His presence known to me already today.  Right now, this song plays on my computer.  I soak in truth and will cling to it today.  And I will choose joy.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

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