Beauty from Ashes

March 20, 2012 / Sara Vincent / 1 Comment

When the tears fall free and hard before 7 am and you talk controlled-soft to keep from yelling in frustration, it’s hard not to wonder where you went wrong. When you fall asleep praying tomorrow will be better and you wake up still praying for a softened heart, for joy, for grace, you sometimes wonder what God is up to.

This year has been hard and I’ve said it too many times and I feel like I’m using it as an excuse. But God has put us here for a reason, for a purpose, and I just don’t understand it yet. But we wrestle, He and I. And I ask and I pray and I cry out and I wait patiently for an answer for why He has called us to this, led us to this, yet every step lately has been so painful. And some days are good and some days I see hope. But most days, it seems, we are just getting by, trying to make it through to the next one.

I hate just surviving. I want to enjoy this life, these days, this time.

I walked by a stray Barbie doll this morning and my heart stopped momentarily. I was taken back to five years ago, eight years ago, when life was Barbies and Princesses and nap times and trips to the zoo and my biggest concern in life was what time does the baby need to eat again.

Now here we stand at the precipice of adolescence. Two girls on the brink of teenage-hood, two more following hard after, and one waiting in Haiti with who-knows-what kind of baggage to unpack. And I know that, comparatively, these are the easy days too; the days before boys and periods and driving. And my heart hurts because I don’t believe we’re ready, don’t believe they’re ready, and I feel like I am the one that has failed them. And I fear that we’ve somehow missed our window.

I know that’s not all entirely true and it’s a lie from the Enemy as he tries to knock me off my feet. But you hear a lie day in and day out and it starts to become a part of you.

But my God, He makes beauty from ashes. He restores what the locust has eaten. And when I give thanks, even amidst the hard days, hard years, I open my life – our lives – up to more of what He wants for us.

Some days life gets so crazy and the way gets dark and I can’t see Him, but that doesn’t change the fact that He is here with me. I have to trust Him that He will see us through this season, that better days await us. I cling to His promises that He will not leave nor forsake. I trust that He will take my offering as a broken mother, broken wife, and make something beautiful out of these children, out of our lives.

As I go to the Word throughout the day, He reminds me to give thanks in all things. In my quiet time He reminds me to bring the sacrifice of thanksgiving. Regardless of my feelings. He tells me to thank Him for my irritations. This constant giving of thanks, it doesn’t always make everything better. Some things are still hard. But my heart, it softens. My mind, at least for a few moments, finds peace and rest in the middle of the rushing roar of life.

God’s grace is amazing and His faithfulness is never failing. He is with me and He is at work, even if I can’t see or feel it. He is not surprised by the struggles we have and really I shouldn’t be either. He has a purpose for this season. He is making beauty from ashes.

1673. priceless words from our daughter’s mouth –

words of love, longing for her home, family, Papa

1674. a weekend away

1675. time as a family

1676. six bodies in one small room

1677. protection

1678. stitches that help heal

1679. Shredding with my favorite

1680. tears that fall early in the morning

1681. continued brokeness

1682. husband that leads, regroups

1683. a God that never fails

Thanks for hanging in with me this year. I’m beginning to feel like a bit of a whiner as our troubles are so small compared to so many. But our struggles are real and God has us here for a purpose. And as eager as I am to be out of this valley, I never want to forget what He’s teaching me here.

All For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Thankful

March 12, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Last week was laying low and staying quiet. I stepped back for a few days from writing and 40 bags and a lot of other things. I reflected on God’s promises and gave thanks for the knowledge of His presence with me. I spent Saturday exercising my creativity around our home, something I haven’t done much of for years. (Thank you, Pinterest.)

This morning clouds hang low outside, casting grey quiet on the city. My girls still sleep, exhausted from the time change and a birthday party and just not getting the sleep they need for a while. I am thankful today for this flexibility.

Today I start the week with giving thanks and remembering some of God’s promises from this past week. Promises for perseverance and trust in His faithfulness, for He never fails us, never lets us go.

We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. – Hebrews 3:14

Often the last step is the winning step. In Pilgrim’s Progress, the greatest number of dangers were lurking in the area closest to the gates of the Celestial City. It was in that region the Doubting Castle stood. And it was there the enchanted ground lured the tired traveler to fatal slumber. It is when heaven’s heights are in full view that the gates of hell are the most persistent and full of deadly peril. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”. (Galatians 6:9) “Run in such a way as to get the prize” (I Corinthians 9:24). ~ Streams, March 5

The greatest challenge in receiving great things from God is holding on for the last half hour. ~ Streams, March 5

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. ~ II Corinthians 4:1

When I cannot feel the faith of assurance, I live by the fact of God’s faithfulness. ~ Matthew Henry

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide your face from me?

I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13:1, 6

Only five verses separate the verses above. In just four verses, David’s attitude went from questioning God to praising Him. What changed? At first David was in despondence, looking only at the enemies he faced. Then he asked God for help and remembered God’s power and love. When he considered who God is and what He had done, he saw his enemies from the right perspective and began thankfing and praising Him.

~ Samaritan Newsletter, November 2011

Waiting, trusting and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from My children that I desire the most. Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words “I trust You” while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow. Hoping is future-directed, connecting you to your inheritance in heaven. However, the benefits of hope fall fully on you in the present.

Because you are Mine, you don’t just pass time in your waiting. You can wait expectantly, in hopeful trust.

Jesus Calling, March 12

1639. still hard times

1640. being on the same page

1641. progress

1642. closet updates

1643. working as a family

1644. husband who serves with love

1645. praying for hard hearts to be softened

1646. a God who hears and heals

1647. a productive Monday

1648. a week’s worth of meals prepped

1649. bread and granola – home made goodness

1650. sisters who help each other with school

1651. puzzles to work

1652. closet forts

1653. quiet

1654. “tickle parties”

1655. squeals that could shatter glass (and eardrums)

1656. oldest child laughing ’til she cries

1657. smells of spring

1658. thunderstorm

1659. reading in bed

1660. adoption nesting

1661. Thursday’s

1662. stretching one week of groceries into two

1663. project ideas

1664. running as snow falls

1665. fat, wet snowflakes

1666. photo booth and the six year old

1667. parent interview completed

1668. laying low most of the week

1669. feeling His peace

1670. a Pinterest-y Saturday

1671. Skype and my sweet girl on the computer screen

1672. quiet Monday morning

May your week be filled with gifts of rest, love, and laughter.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Learning Contentment

February 28, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

In a school year that drags on and just refuses to go smoothly, I am reminded that God has a plan and a purpose for my life, their lives, this year. In a season where I make room in my heart by making room in my home, I am reminded that contentment with godliness is great gain. As I meet with the Savior over coffee in the early morning quiet, I am reminded over and over that contentment begins by giving thanks for what one already has and the enemy of a peaceful heart is ungratefulness.

1624. the start of a new week

1625. improved attitude

1626. (somewhat) renewed vision for the year

1627. new ideas and challenges

1628. seeing God stretch what He has provided

1629. a much better week

1630. 40 bags, 40 days

1631. an encouraging, exciting meeting

1632. changes that await

1633. trusting God for the details

1634. a clean closet

1635. a good weekend

1636. headache that just won’t quit

1637. learning prayer

1638. learning contentment

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Gathering Grace, Gathering Manna

February 20, 2012February 20, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

God gives grace like manna – daily and always enough to meet our need. Why do we not go and gather the grace He freely gives? Why do we choose to limp through our days on our own strength rather than choosing to be carried by the grace of God? Last week I attempted to walk in my own strength as I carried the heavy, heavy burden of all we had seen and experienced in Haiti. This week I start fresh, listing the gifts and falling hard on the grace He gives, thankful for mercies that are new every morning. Counting the gifts is a way of listing the graces, how moment by moment He shows Himself faithful. And He is always faithful.

1541. feeling the Enemy’s attacks again

1542. sorting truth from lies

1543. God’s wild, obvious protection

1544. clean sink

1545. clean floors

1546. friends home from Haiti

1547. wonderful reports about our sweet girl

1548. images of Godly men loving on orphans

1549. a long, slow Saturday at home

1550.projects completed

1551. five days

1552. seventy degree days

1553. details coming together

1554. preparations coming to an end

1555. laundry not folded

1556. house not clean

1557. piles not put away

1558. team packed and ready to go

1559. New York City skyline at night – modern beauty

1560. a long-awaited day – finally here

1561. Lifeline

1562. meeting her

1563. first hugs

1564. a big smile when she sees me

1565. meeting all of these children

1566. hearing “Mama”, “Papa”, “mi Mami, mi Papi”

1567. all of our paperwork for our embassy appointment!

1568. Misterline

1569. Gretchen

1570. Miliane

1571. wrestling emotions

1572. feeling connected

1573. no power, no a/c

1574. church in Haiti

1575. roosters crowing all night long

1576. praising God together

1577. beautiful Shela

1578. praying and singing with all the girls

1579. missing home

1580. I-600 filed!

1581. Titi the driver

1582. food distribution

1583. beautiful, hungry people

1584. joy and hope amidst poverty, extreme poverty

1585. seeing her smile again

1586. that bottom lip

1587. working in the dirt

1588. Nicole’s story

1589. opening the floodgate of tears

1590. unpacking a lot of emotion

1591. going home soon

1592. Haiti beach

1593. watching the older kids “swim”

1594. roommates

1595. Aicha

1596. braided hair

1597. last night here

1598. girls singing

1599. sharing, reflecting, praying

1600. hard, hard good byes

1601. home

1602. beautiful basket from a friend, food for the whole weekend

1603. Haiti smells, Haiti memories

1604. daily seeing their faces in my mind

1605. knowing God holds them even when we cannot

1606. school year that drags on difficult

1607. a day set aside to show love

1608. mental, heart fog that hangs heavy

1609. wandering, feeling lost, directionless

1610. broken washer, thermostat, all these earthly things

1611. music – a soothing balm that flows from my phone, with me everywhere I go

1612. Psalm upon Psalm that directs me in the way

1613. a long nap with a snuggly six year old

1614. arms that feel so empty

1615. friend that lets me invade her house and use her washing machine while mine sits useless

1616. days that feel like I’m banging my head on a wall

1617. weeks that feel that way too

1618. beginning to see truth amidst the confusion, to see God’s purpose

1619. dinner with friends that understand, encourage, challenge

1620. a working washing machine!

1621. a Saturday at home

1622. still processing our Haiti experience

1623. seeing His grace in all these past ten days

We are able to have as much of God as we want. Christ puts the key to His treasure chest in our hands and invites us to take all we desire. If someone is allowed into a bank vault, told to help himself to the money, and leaves without one cent, whose fault is it if he remains poor? And whose fault is it that Christians usually have such meager portions of the free riches of God? ~ Alexander MacLaren (Streams in the Desert, February 20)

May you drink deeply of God’s great riches in grace and mercy this week and may your eyes be opened to the manna that is always before you, the daily, moment-by-moment renewing of His grace.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

A List with Pictures

January 23, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

As I continue to give humble thanks for the gift that was last week and the weekend, and as we prepare to open up a new week of learning, living, and practicing grace, a quick list and some pictures I found yesterday from this past summer.

1535. a completely different week – blessing!

1536. date night

1537. family night

1538. quiet Sunday

1539. ten more days

1540. generosity of friends

Wishing you a week of beauty and thanksgiving….

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Praising in the Storm

January 16, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

The storms they’ve raged. Every day. Wild and hard. Beating. Exhausting. They’ve raged not in extreme circumstances, but in the mundane, the every day. We battle minute-by-minute for grace, strength.

Some of life’s storms – a great sorrow, a bitter disappointment, a crushing defeat – suddenly come upon us. Others may come slowly, appearing on the uneven edge of the horizon no larger than a person’s hand. But trouble that seems so insignificant spreads until it covers the sky and overwhelms us.

Yet it is in the storm that God equips us for service. When God wants an oak tree, He plants it where the storms will shake it and the rains will beat down upon it. It is in the midnight battle with the elements that the oak develops its rugged fiber and becomes the king of the forest.

The beauties of nature come after the storm. The rugged beauty of the mountain is born in a storm, and the heroes of life are the storm-swept and battle-scarred.

The wind that blows can never kill

The tree God plants;

It blows toward east, and then toward west,

The tender leaves have little rest,

But any wind that blows is best.

The tree that God plants

Strikes deeper root, grows higher still,

Spreads greater limbs, for God’s good will

Meets all its wants.

There is not storm has power to blast

The tree God knows;

No thunderbolt, nor beating rain,

Nor lightning flash, nor hurricane;

When they are spent, it does remain,

The tree God knows.

Through every storm it still stands fast,

And from its first day to its last

Still fairer grows.

~ Streams in the Desert, January 16

1519. iMac back (again)

1520. feeling human again

1521. sweet, thoughtful text messages

1522. the blessing of friendship

1523. knowing who our enemy is

1524. knowing the victory is already won

1525. perspective on my own problems

1526. mini-Maacs

1527. moving on to Kansas City

1528. fighting hard against the enemy’s attacks

1529. relaxed dinner with friends

1530. pictures from Haiti – such a gift

1531. a quiet Sunday afternoon

1532. planning another week of school

1533. children and their imaginations

1534. peace in the storm

May you praise Him wherever He has you this week.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Counting Again

January 9, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Monday. The second one of the new year. Last week slipped by, still a holiday. Today tries to get away as well.

Sick this morning with a stomach bug generously shared by my beloved (he’s a giver!), I didn’t get up early and the whole day has felt behind and as I look again and again at the to do list on my phone I feel heavy and frustrated that so little has been accomplished. And my spirit reminds me of my desire to yield this year, to put my own agenda aside and trust Him with my days and my to dos and some things will just have to wait.

But He still gives generously, even when the task list runs long and daunting and the stomach turns and discouragement threatens nearby. So in these few moments before dinner, before ballet and gymnastics, and a couple of hours in the car, I begin again to list the gifts. I pick up where I left off, but I take Ann’s challenge to list 1000 in a year. A new journal, fresh pages to list the love gifts, both laughter-filled and cried over, because if the easy things He gives are gifts, aren’t the hard things too?

1496. a week of slow

1497. crafts

1498. baking

1499. movies

1500. girls afternoon out with Grandpa

1501. impromptu dinner date with the hubs

1502. working iPhone

1503. Christmas weekend – so many good gifts!

1504. a slower week

1505. he’s 35!

1506. celebrating the gift he is to me

1507. home office, 3.0

1508. quiet New Year’s Eve at home

1509. the end of a wonderfully long, much-needed break

1510. one month until I meet her

1511. four days without a computer; realizing how much time it eats

**1512. a new year, a new list

1513. the challenge to count 1000 gifts in one year

1514. an afternoon out with the oldest

1515. Sunday

1516. thing checked off instead of put off

1517. sick on a Monday

1518. continually yielding my schedule to His

Will you join me this year in counting the gifts? Will you take the challenge to count 1000 before the curtain closes on 2012? It’s not hard. His gifts are all around us, if we will only open our eyes to see them.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Gifts

December 19, 2011December 19, 2011 / Sara Vincent / 1 Comment

It’s the most wonderful time of year. The time of giving and receiving, of blessing and being blessed. A time for gathering and reflecting and rejoicing.

In the past three weeks we’ve had four parties. These things always sound like a good idea in November when we start planning them. 🙂 The last party was Friday night. A wonderful time reflecting on the past year of involvement in Haiti ministry. And now we are into the last week before Christmas. I look forward to putting “projects” aside and focusing on continuing to stir the girls’ hearts in love for Christ, the One who came down to give His life as a ransom for many.

1489. saving money

1490. the last week of school

1491. celebrating God’s goodness in the Haiti ministry

1492. beautiful new pictures of her

1493. fun dinner with fun friends

1494. old Christmas movies that are part of the tradition

1495. friends who take little girls swimming

May your week be filled with the joy of giving, with an eye open to all you’ve been given.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

A Simple List (and a few precious photos)

December 12, 2011 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Computer finally restored. A busy day of catching up and getting ready and staying on task. A quick moment here to chronicle the gifts, the thanks.

1477. release from physical therapy

1478. the second ten year old

1479. restoring files for the second time

1480. a flipped breaker switch that means restoring files for the third time

1481. a God who hears my cry and speaks to me deeply during my quiet time

1482. successful birthday party

1483. sweet friends for my girls

1484. celebrating another year of God’s provision

1485. overflow

1486. pictures worth more than a thousand words, more than a thousand thanks

1487. computer completely restored…just in time

DSCF0057

As Christmas celebrations draw closer and calendar squares nearly burst with activities, may we all be able to pause and remember the One True Gift and all that He so faithfully provides.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Listing His Graces

December 5, 2011 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

I sit here on the cold living room floor, iMac hardwired to the internet as Carbonite continues to work its magic and restore my hard drive. And while files find their proper places again, the gifts they keep coming and I keep counting. In this season of gifts and giving, what better way to celebrate the ultimate Gift than by counting the daily gifts and graces He gives?

1461. sewing projects that just won’t go right

1462. morning devotions

1463. crashed hard drive

1464. (hopefully) backed up files

1465. appointment at the US Embassy in Port-au-Prince

1466. Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb

1467. old friends far away who help me troubleshoot my Mac

1468. new friends nearby who help me fix it

1469. iPhone and iPad that keep me connected and productive

1470. curtain project finished!

1471. cookie baking

1472. six free gift tickets to watch our favorite college team play basketball