Praising in the Storm

January 16, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

The storms they’ve raged. Every day. Wild and hard. Beating. Exhausting. They’ve raged not in extreme circumstances, but in the mundane, the every day. We battle minute-by-minute for grace, strength.

Some of life’s storms – a great sorrow, a bitter disappointment, a crushing defeat – suddenly come upon us. Others may come slowly, appearing on the uneven edge of the horizon no larger than a person’s hand. But trouble that seems so insignificant spreads until it covers the sky and overwhelms us.

Yet it is in the storm that God equips us for service. When God wants an oak tree, He plants it where the storms will shake it and the rains will beat down upon it. It is in the midnight battle with the elements that the oak develops its rugged fiber and becomes the king of the forest.

The beauties of nature come after the storm. The rugged beauty of the mountain is born in a storm, and the heroes of life are the storm-swept and battle-scarred.

The wind that blows can never kill

The tree God plants;

It blows toward east, and then toward west,

The tender leaves have little rest,

But any wind that blows is best.

The tree that God plants

Strikes deeper root, grows higher still,

Spreads greater limbs, for God’s good will

Meets all its wants.

There is not storm has power to blast

The tree God knows;

No thunderbolt, nor beating rain,

Nor lightning flash, nor hurricane;

When they are spent, it does remain,

The tree God knows.

Through every storm it still stands fast,

And from its first day to its last

Still fairer grows.

~ Streams in the Desert, January 16

1519. iMac back (again)

1520. feeling human again

1521. sweet, thoughtful text messages

1522. the blessing of friendship

1523. knowing who our enemy is

1524. knowing the victory is already won

1525. perspective on my own problems

1526. mini-Maacs

1527. moving on to Kansas City

1528. fighting hard against the enemy’s attacks

1529. relaxed dinner with friends

1530. pictures from Haiti – such a gift

1531. a quiet Sunday afternoon

1532. planning another week of school

1533. children and their imaginations

1534. peace in the storm

May you praise Him wherever He has you this week.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Walking the Talk

January 11, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Overwhelmed. That’s where I’m at today. The to do list grows ever-longer, never shorter. We haven’t done history or science this week because I’ve either been sick, catching up from being sick, or driving somewhere. I finish a project in one room, walk into the next and see a whole new project left behind for me by someone else. I forget meetings and agree to be in two places on opposite sides of town at the exact same time and I get kids to practices late.

I text the husband a plea for prayer. He responds: Abide. Yield. Enjoy.

Yield. This is where my faith grows legs. Where I practice what I set out to do this year. How is it honestly easier to trust God about big things like missions trips and ministry decisions and provision for work and adoption details, but so hard to trust Him that my to do list will get finished? Honestly it’s because I have absolutely no control over those “big things” and so the simplest thing is to trust Him with it. But the “little things” like cleaning out storage areas and catching up on laundry and keeping the kitchen clean for more than 15 minutes…those are under my “control” and I’m afraid that if I yield them, He may ask me to learn to live with mess, with (more) unfinished projects, in a constant state of undone. And that scares me.

And so here I am….choosing to yield, choosing to slow my roll (as Jon Acuff said today in a timely post), choosing to trust in a God that has proven over and over that He is in the small things and that He does care about my details and that He loves me.

And as I hear Blessed Assurance echo up the stair case from the piano below, I smile and I feel peaceful for the first time all day.

To God be the Glory ~

~ Sara

Getting Some Words Out….

January 5, 2012 / Sara Vincent / 1 Comment

Where do I start? So many thoughts have been in my head for so many days. My computer remains in the shop, so my opportunities to chronicle our days have been limited.

The break from the computer has been incredibly refreshing and eye-opening. Two weeks without it at the beginning of December was just frustrating. But the past ten days of it being buggy, unreliable, and out of commission have actually been kind of nice. Freeing, almost. I have realized how much of a habit my computer had become; an incredible time-eater. Having it out of the house and not even as an option to go look at has made me aware of just how much of my time and attention it was getting. Clearly, I need to redefine the relationship. As part of my goal setting and planning for the new year, I have spent some time making up an early morning schedule that (in theory) should allow me to get the bulk of daily computer work done in the morning, before the girls get up. After that, I think I need to just turn it off. I can do just about anything I need to on my phone, but it’s small size and touch-screen keyboard prevent me from wanting to do excessive browsing and time-killing on it. I have realized that I am very tied to my computer. It is an incredible asset in helping me keep our family running. Menu planning, list making, calendars, bill paying….almost everything is on that machine. But so are a lot of opportunities to be distracted from that which is most important and real. And I need to have my attention here, in real life.

Which brings me to something new for this year. I am doing something I have seen others do; I am choosing a word or a theme for this year. My word is attentiveness – showing the worth of a person or task by giving it my full concentration. My mind is always going, always moving (albeit, sometimes very slowly), and typically it is on the next thing that needs to be done. I am task-oriented to the core and I can go all day without noticing people. I go through WalMart and never notice those around me, except to think that there are way too many people out. I want to pay attention this year. Pay attention to my husband and children; not just what they’re telling me, but what they’re not necessarily telling me, to hear their hearts. I want to pay attention to those around me when I am out. One of the most convicting things I read last year was in Francis Chan’s book Erasing Hell, where he talked about sitting in Starbucks and stopping to look at all of the other patrons and began to wonder about the eternal destination of their souls. I see and encounter people every day. They are not just the cashier at Aldi, the drive-thru clerk at Wendy’s, or the frustrated driver in the other lane. They have real lives, real stories, real hurt, real joy. And the least I can do is notice them and interact with them and (even without words) share the love of Christ with them. And most of all, I want to pay attention to the voice of God. I want to be attuned to that still, small voice. I want to hear Him when He leads my heart or my day in a direction I hadn’t planned.

And because I can’t ever do the simple thing, I have a second word and it goes with being attentive to God. That word is yield. It came to me this morning as I looked at my calendar and saw another day filled with crazy. I’ve written about this and fought this for the past six or eight months. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get our schedule to behave itself. And I know God has some purpose for taking my scheduled self through this and as I said before Christmas, it’s time I stop fighting and learn to yield to it. Yield to the interruptions, yield to the constant going, yield to the fact that my time is actually His time and I am simply to do with it what He tells me to.

Attentiveness. Yield. My words for the year.

I have read some incredible quotes this week. Quotes I want to remember…

First, this one, from Ann…

“Contentment isn’t a state of organization, a weight on the scale, a state of better: better kids, better marriage, better health, better house. Contentment is never a matter of circumstances; contentment is always a state of communion — a daily embracing of God. A thankfulness for all the gifts – and moments and life, just as He gives it. Trying harder may only bring harder trials and contentment, it won’t be be found in the resolutions, but in the revolutions – in the turning round to God.”

And this one, the same day, in my quiet time…

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]” (John 16:33 AMP)

And this blog post today, shared by a friend on Facebook.

Momastery: 2011 Lesson #2: Don’t Carpe Diem

I love it. I have so long wanted to write something similar, but could never find the words. I, too, have struggled with the well-intentioned grandmother-types in the grocery stores telling me to “Enjoy every minute!”, “These are the best days!”, “It goes so fast!”. Yes, that is all true…these are the best days and it does go so fast. But let’s be honest, it’s really, really hard. And some days you just want to make it through to bedtime without losing your cool or running away to Jamaica. I’ve often wondered how much we gloss over the hard days as time goes by….kind of like pregnancy and child birth. Although, I still remember both of those very vividly and there’s a reason why I really don’t want to do either again. I equate it more with running, actually. I love running. Rather, I love how running makes me feel. There are days when I love the action of running. But most of the time I hate it. It’s hard and I can’t breathe. I have to get out of my warm bed on dark, cold mornings and it’s highly inconvenient. But I love finishing the run. I love how I feel afterward. I love time with my friends that run with me. I love that post-run feeling so much that every once in a while, I’ll go crazy and sign up for a half marathon which only multiplies the hard and inconvenient. And for 13.1 miles (not to mention the countless miles of training), I will ask myself Why in the heck did I do this to myself? And then I cross the finish line and it feels amazing and I ACTUALLY THINK OF DOING IT AGAIN! I think that’s what these older women do in the grocery stores. They are trying to encourage us by telling us how great it is. But like the author of this post, I would rather they be gently honest. Not dumping on me about every bad thing ahead, but just empathize – These days are hard, but you will get through and you will look back on them fondly. Take a moment to enjoy this season a midst the crazy.

Well, it’s time to go pick up my oldest from art. Here’s to a wonderful 2012 – filled with paying attention and yielding to the will of God.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Christmas Traditions

December 22, 2011 / Sara Vincent / 2 Comments

We’ve had a fun month and in particular a fun week of doing some old and new things to prepare for Christmas.

We started out by reading Ann Voskamp’s Jesse Tree devotional. This is our second year reading this wonderful collection. It is free to download on her website.

Another favorite is Max Lucado’s One Incredible Moment. A collection of stories from a variety of his books, we read one a day throughout December. It’s a wonderful way to reflect on the incredible gift of Jesus.

This Christmas season, Matt told me I could spend some money updating our Christmas decorations. I didn’t actually end up spending too much, but it did get my wheels turning and help me to look at our decorations to see what could be updated or changed or redone. It’s been fun! We did some different/new things this year that I’ve really liked, most of them involving cardstock, pictures, ornaments, and ribbon.

First, inspired by a photo posted by my friend Kristen last Christmas, we tied ornaments to ribbon and hung them from the curtain rods in all of the front windows. I haven’t been able to get a very good picture, but they look so lovely, if I may say so myself. 😉

I also decided to try something new with Christmas cards this year. We have two doorways that I drape garlands over. This year I bought black cardstock and some pretty ribbon. I pulled out the old decorative scrapbooking scissors and as Christmas pictures came in, I would adhere the pictures to the card stock, cut a pretty edge, put ribbon on the back, and hang it from the garland. It’s fun to see our friends and family’s smiling faces as we enter our home.

For gift tags this year I decided to print a bunch of pictures from the past year. Some of our girls don’t like to know who is getting what so I had to get creative. So, once again taking black cardstock, decorative scissors, and ribbon, on one side of the card stock I put a picture of who the gift was to, on the other side I put a group or family picture. I taped them by the ribbon to the box with the individual picture facing down. I only did this on our gifts to the girls, so there wasn’t any need to indicate who they were from. It’s so fun to see all their lovely faces on the packages under our tree.

One more decorating thing, I think… We have a beautiful old fireplace in our dining room, but it doesn’t work nor does it have a cover to hide the gas elements or whatever they’re called. For years I’ve been trying to figure out a way to make that part of it more attractive. Well, this year I decided to carry the ornament idea into the dining room. I hung ornaments from the same ribbon as I used in the windows, from the inside of the fireplace. They look lovely! Now I’ll have to figure out what to put there once the decorations come down!

We’ve also watched some of our favorite movies – The Polar Express, Miracle on 34th Street (the old version), and Elf. There are still a few I would like to watch. They include How the Grinch Stole Christmas (maybe I’ll take this one for the kids to watch tomorrow night at my parents’), The Nativity (planned for Christmas Eve sometime), The Christmas Story (on Christmas Day since it usually runs all day long). The only one I’m still trying to fit in is Christmas Vacation. We won’t let the girls watch that one yet, so maybe late one night this weekend.

We also got a little crafty this season (thank you, Pinterest). Grace is working on a couple of different things on her own, but yesterday everyone sat down together and painted ornaments. So easy, so fun, and so beautiful!

And let’s not forget all of the food we’ve made this month. Craziness!

Oh, it’s been a fun season of doing something different! I’m looking forward to this weekend and resting, relaxing, and celebrating His coming with those we love most.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

How My Eyes Were Opened To Contentment Today

December 9, 2011March 27, 2013 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

This week has been one of those weeks. A week when I wrestle old demons. This one born of temperament stubbornly resurfaces on a regular basis. That old foe Discouragement he shows up when lists grow long and things go undone and it seems I will never get it right. And how is it the Christmas season only seems to accentuate my inadequacies?

Last night I slumped off to sleep. Heavy. Weary. Burdened. I awoke this morning much the same. With coffee in hand and Bible in my lap, I curled up on the couch with lamp and Christmas tree light to illuminate and asked, cried nearly, “Lord, I need to hear from you today.” And in only following along on my Bible-In-A-Year plan, today is Romans 8.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (v. 1)

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (v. 18)

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. (v. 26)

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can beagainst us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (vv. 31-32)

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (v. 37)

And the verse from Streams today…

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:17)

And from Jesus Calling, yesterday’s reading…

“Your needs and My riches are a perfect fit. I never meant for you to be self-sufficient. Instead, I designed you to need Me not only for daily bread but also for fulfillment of deep yearnings. I carefully crafted your longings and feelings of incompleteness to point you to Me.”

Oh, and Ann, from yesterday, with her words on disappointment and how it’s all about praise, not perfection.

And after all of this I stood in the shower, thanking Him for hearing me and answering me so quickly and for His great love toward me. And He continues to speak, to minister. And I realize that it is not this season or our schedules that are the problem. It is my expectation. I want something I cannot have right now. I want slow, but that is not the season we are in. With four active children, a business, ministry, and more, this is not the season for slow and we will all be much happier if I would just stop fighting it and embrace the crazy a little more. We are making memories and doing good things and all of this can be a blessing if I can change my perspective and be myself a blessing to my family by being fully here in the crazy and being joyful in the midst of it.

And my heart is lighter as I realize all of this and I know all of those things that can weigh heavy will get finished and Christmas will be wonderful because it is not about how much I was able to do in preparation for the holiday but about being fully present to worship the One who came to ransom me and about pointing their hearts (the girls’ hearts) toward that same One. It’s about setting a tone that makes them want more of Him. And with a little more than two weeks left til Christmas, that is my prayer. These things on my lists, they still need to be done. But they can be done with a light heart when done out of love for Him and for others rather than a love for my own sense of accomplishment.

God is good to hear the cries of this broken vessel. He is merciful to continue to remove the burdens I keep picking back up. He is worthy of my love and worship. He is good and He is the reason for the hope that I have and the joy of this season. May His name be praised.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Slaying Giants

October 6, 2011 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

My hallway last week…

My hallway last night…

I went to bed a very happy girl. 🙂

We are making progress on the head lice and I have tamed the laundry beast. It’s gonna be a good day. Deo volente.

Reviewing the Week – Kind Of

September 16, 2011September 16, 2011 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Sitting here tonight, drinking some Theraflu, hoping to feel like a new person in the morning, and reflecting a bit on the week.

The week was a good one overall. Uneventful and productive in the school department. Today we had home school swimming at the “Y”. Or the “U”. Or the “W”. Ellie referred to it as both of the latter today. 🙂

Yesterday marks one month to the Waddell and Reed half marathon in Kansas City. My good friend Nikki and I have been training for it and I have been really excited about it up until this past week. We did eleven miles last Saturday, and they felt great, but I had a variety of pains as they day went on. Ran five on Monday and my legs felt like a couple of dried out old rubber bands – no flex at all. Got new shoes that night because I’ve been feeling like it was that time again and was hoping they would fix my problems. Ran Wednesday morning and still had pain (but that could have been residual from Saturday) and decided to rest Thursday and today. Anyway….I’ve just been discouraged because I’ve been pain free until this week but now I can feel my knee all the time and it’s really bummed me out. I’m hoping tomorrow’s run is good for both Nikki and me (and that I don’t regret the Theraflu I’m drinking right now when it’s time to get up).

Matt and I have been trying to do our Thirty for 30 commitment. We started last Tuesday night by going to the park. Wednesday night we played a game as a family. Thursday night Matt took the girls out shopping for birthday presents for me (that counts, right?). Friday afternoon I took them all to the zoo, then two of them had a birthday party and the other two went out to dinner with Matt and me. Saturday was a bit of a bust…I ran that eleven and then came home and immediately started getting ready to go over to Kansas City for the afternoon/evening with Matt for my birthday, so we didn’t do anything really as a family. Sunday we did something….but I can remember what. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights we played games. Last night we had a ministry meeting at our house, so we weren’t able to do anything. Tonight I kind of watched Kit Kittredge with them, though I confess I was in and out of the room. So, we’ve not been perfect, but we’re making an honest effort. I don’t know that I’m seeing any major behavior or attitude changes from the girls, but I have noticed myself being disappointed on the nights when we haven’t been able to do something together, so that’s something.

Anyway, I think that’s it for me tonight. Going to go fall into my cold-medicine coma. Have a blessed weekend, all!

~ Sara

On Being Blind

August 11, 2011 / Sara Vincent / 2 Comments

There are days I want to crawl back into bed and hide under my covers. There are days I will excuse myself from the school table, the room, and go find quiet solace somewhere, anywhere. There are days when I bite my tongue hard to hold back the poisoned darts and still they fly free.

Today was one of those days.

I’m learning that I have a hard time being the responsible, get-stuff-done mom while still maintaining my laugh-out-loud-isn’t-life-fun persona. It seems I can only be one or the other. And I think this is why I cling so hard to summer. No school means we can go have fun and the house doesn’t have to fall apart. Warm weather and abundant sunshine mean laying by the pool, sitting on the patio, family bike rides, and just about everything else in the world that I love to do.

And I really want to be that mom year-round. But then, we would never do school or anything else hard because it would interfere with my schedule and our fun.

Unfortunately (from our fleshly perspective), God hasn’t called us to a life of fun. He hasn’t called us to bask in the sun all day every day while children frolic in the water. No, He has called us to work, and good deeds, and to count it all joy.

Joy. It can be hard to find when all you can focus on is the clock ticking down to bedtime.

Joy. It sits all around me at the school table and calls my name a billion times a day and needs my love and attention like it needs air to breathe.

Joy. It’s not always fun and easy and laughter. Sometimes it’s hard and ugly and comes with tears.

I lost my focus today and missed the joy in front of me. I admit, it would have been hard to find, even if I had been looking, but it was there.

It was there in the child who begged me time and again to play Five Crowns and who I kept saying “later” to and never did play with.

It was there in the mess of recyclables and scrapbook paper and the girls made furniture for their American Girl dolls.

It was there in their delight over tacos and bread dough and my iPhone.

It was all around me and I missed my chance to soak it in, to live in it.

**Lord, help me to focus on the joy all around me. I am living my own dream. You have blessed me beyond measure and I daily take it for granted. Forgive me, Lord, for my arrogance and my ungratefulness. Keep my eyes focused on you and your countless good gifts, even the ones that are hard to see. For your glory and for their hearts….Amen.”

Summertime

June 23, 2011 / Sara Vincent / 4 Comments

Well, I’m at least a month late on this post, but (as I’ve said many times) this has been one of the weirdest summers I can remember. After a ~~major~~ slight breakdown yesterday, I feel like we’ve made it over the hump and I am determined to slow down and enjoy the next few weeks with my kids. I’m clearing our July schedules of anything and everything I possibly can and we are going to cram as much fun into six weeks as humanly possible.

So, all that said, here is our “Summer Fun List” –

Have friends over (they have a list of about 12 different girls)
Camping (probably going to have to wait until fall for that one)
Splash parks
The cabin in Texas (weren’t we just there? surely that counts.)
Parks
Zoos
Bike rides
Moon Marble Company
Discovery Center
Shopping at the mall
Get a gerbil (that’s Grace’s – shoot me now, please)
Take Coco for walks

Seems reasonable enough, except maybe the camping and the cabin. I’ll report back on how we did in the fall.

Next up, my Summer Reading List. It’s long (though not as long as last year; okay, maybe it is as long as last year’s) and I’m allowing myself into the fall for it, too. Here goes:

Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald

This gift was given to me to read. I will be honest, I have some cautions about Vision Forum and their strong patriarchal leanings, but it looks like it addresses some things that we want to work on with the girls, so I am reading through it this summer to determine if it is something we should go through together in the fall.

The Gift of Good Manners by Peggy Post & Cindy Post Senning

This was on last summer’s list and I still haven’t gotten to it. It should probably be a higher priority than it is; we need help. 😉

Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman

Because I really need to cry more than I already do.

The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne Schooler

This one and the two that follow have all been recommended reading as we navigate the adoption process. I’m looking forward to getting into them soon.

Adopted for Life by Russell Moore
Praying Through Your Adoption by Michelle Cervone Scott
The Winter of Our Disconnect by Susan Maushart

I’m really intrigued by this one!

Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller

We’re going through this right now in Sunday school. Good stuff.

The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

Read this first in college, now going through it again with my small group ladies. Looking forward to seeing what I take away from it so many years later.

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

One of my favorite movies ever. I was at a book sale and one of the ladies there convinced me that it is so much better than the movie and what did I have to lose for a buck? Should be good poolside reading, if I can ever find the time to sit poolside. 😉

Understanding Exposure by Bryan Petereson

The next three books are a result of me finally being fed up with not fully understanding my camera. These are library books, so I’m trying to get through them first, but I can only read about shutter speeds and f-stops for so long before my brain goes numb.

Understanding Composition by Steve Mulligan
Digital SLR Cameras and Photography for Dummies by David Busch

Well, that’s it. I’ve got my work cut out for me!

What about you? What fun things are you hoping to do with your kids this summer? Any good books you’re hoping to read?

Praying you are able to slow down and enjoy the gift of life today!

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Pulling Weeds

June 2, 2011 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

One throws piano books. Another slaps her sister. I hear a stampede of angry wails from my side of the bathroom door. I am in the shower while the argument ensues; how to settle a dispute that has no witnesses while the shampoo runs into my eyes?

By the time I was their age my only sibling was an adult, off to college and living on his own. I have no model to draw from for working through these difficulties. I feel lost.

I send them to rooms, to beds, to think, pray, calm. I brush my wet hair and pray myself.

There are so many issues, topics that seem to be suddenly glaring. Areas in our parenting that are lacking. Where to begin?

One calms down, another confesses her wrong-doing. They go out to weed flower beds. Youngest child proudly presents weeds to be placed in water and displayed. Agitated from the morning, I take them grumpily, hiding behind a polite smile. If I’m honest, I don’t want to put weeds on the counter, but I can’t resist her unbridled joy.

And it occurs to me, this is what we’re doing as parents. Pulling the weeds of sin, working to get the stubborn roots, so that the beautiful flowers that are our children can grow stronger, healthier, more beautiful to the glory of their Creator.

While I’m being honest, it bears mentioning that I hate weeding, loathe yard work. Which is why the children are outside pulling while I’m inside typing. And while I can delegate yard work, no one else can do this work in their lives. While God ultimately directs their paths and who they will become, He has entrusted them to us, their earthly parents, to do this difficult, unending task of pulling the weeds of sin that seek to encroach on the beauty He is creating in them.

And He uses them to expose (often glaringly) and work out the sins in our own hard hearts, the flesh that screams to be made first.

This parenting is a sacred act, making us more like His Son more than almost any other crucible that life gives, if only we will submit to His instruction. And models aside, He will be faithful to lead me, lead us, as we seek Him daily to show us how to lead them.