She’s ten. I don’t know how it happened, but she’s ten. I look at my youngest and still feel a bit like I’m playing house, but I look at the oldest one and realize this is not pretending. This is real life and she is growing up too fast.
The first born is always “born old” I believe. She’s always been more mature, more responsible, a little more serious. She’s a funny combination of her father and me. She has my desire for order, organization, and neatness. She has her father’s propensity for teasing, his natural ability to be responsible with money, and, of course, his hair. She is one hundred percent girl, yet loves the outdoors and bugs and, of course, the environment. Ahem. 😉 She is smart and funny and strong. She is a rock in so many ways, just like her dad. And I love that about her. She makes my job surpassingly simpler as I know that I can count on her to do whatever I ask, even though it may not always be done cheerfully. She leads her sisters well and they all look up to her.
She is ten. I look back on the first ten years and the moments that I thought would be the death of me and I look out over the next ten and realize that the potential for greater trials lays still ahead. Hormones and boys and alcohol and drugs and dangers that I haven’t even considered yet. She and I are going away later this month to begin deeper conversations that should have likely started long ago, but I figure it is better to start it now, even if I’m a little late, than to continue to sweep it under the rug.
Grace, I love you. I daily feel unworthy to be your mother, but am endlessly thankful for the privilege. You challenge me, encourage me, make me laugh, and sometimes, you drive me crazy. I pray that the next ten years will be even better than this first ten I pray you will continue to honestly seek the Lord and make wise choices. I know much will change in the next ten years and there will be tears mixed with the laughter, but I pray that ten years from now as we prepare to celebrate your twentieth birthday we will see a young woman who has learned to view her life in the light of God’s grace and who is continuing to learn to live for His glory.
Happy Birthday, my beautiful first-born daughter. You have forever changed my life for the better.
Love, Your Mama