Yesterday I stared into the mirror and applied eyeshadow knowing I was one moving song away from this time being wasted. The whole weekend had felt heavy, and not just because of too much food. My heart has hurt for families – friends now – ahead of us in this adoption process, who have waited so long to exit this stage we recently entered. I long for a word, for news, for hope, because when they move, it’s good for everyone.
Honestly, and everyone asks this , the wait hasn’t been that hard. Perhaps we are strange in that regard, but the past almost two years since we first met our girl have simply flown by. There have been moments when my heart has hurt because of her absence, but for the most part, life is just too busy to stop and think much about it. We know she is well-cared for and loved and truly quite happy where she is, and so we do not worry. And we know that God holds her closer and loves her more than even we ever will, and we rest in His timing for her home coming.
But yesterday, oh my heart hurt and I asked God “why” and “when” and I cried out “oh, please, let someone hear something soon!” And I left for church, kids in tow, eager to worship with the body of believers and excited to kick off a campaign to benefit the orphanage, but still somewhat raw.
As I stood there in that pew we occupy every week and we sang, my heart was comforted by the music and the words, but when we began with Mighty to Save and the words “Savior, He can move the mountains” flashed onto that giant screen it simply made me stop as I was reminded….He is able to move the mountains. And He is good. No matter what happens, no matter how long this process takes, no matter if we are stuck in passports for another year – He is still good. He can move the mountains, and if He chooses not to, I must trust in His good purposes anyway.
I don’t want to wait any longer. I don’t want our friends to wait. I really don’t want those kids to wait. But there is purpose in the waiting. This time of preparation and waiting have opened my eyes to things we need to be working on here, now. We have drawn closer to the Lord and learned to lean harder on Him. And we continue to wait on His timing. We wait on Him to move those mountains of paperwork and bureaucracy that keep these children too far away. And we will continue to trust in Him because He is good.
For His Glory ~