Wasted…

Relying on God has to start over every day, as if nothing has yet been done.

~ CS Lewis

 It’s not been a banner parenting week.  I’ve been irritable, overwhelmed, tired, and generally unpleasant to be around.  I’ve spent too much time on FacebookInstagramPinterest and not enough time engaging with real people (i.e., the ones I live with).  I’ve complained too much, let goals fall by the wayside, and eaten way too much chocolate in the past 36 hours (Exhibit A – the jar of chocolate chips sitting in front of me).  I sent the girls to my mom’s today to make cookies, partly to give them a friendlier face to be around.

I gave myself a pep talk on Wednesday, and I felt a lot better.  Until Thursday dawned and I need the pep talk again but didn’t have the mental energy to give it. So we slogged through the day much like we slogged through the week.

I hate weeks like this.  Weeks where I sit here and honestly feel like I just wasted five days of my life.  I did what was necessary to keep us all alive and moving forward, but I don’t feel like I gave the best of myself, or even close to that.  But the fact is, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about the past five days.  They are over and done with. I don’t get them back, I don’t get a do over.  I did get to ask my girls’ forgiveness this morning as I drove them to classes – forgiveness for being a cranky, inattentive mom all week.  And of course they forgave, because kids are awesome like that.  And I do get to try again.  To hit a mental reset on my life and disconnect a bit from social media while reconnecting with my favorite little humans.  To pray again for God to give me His eyes and His heart for my children (in all their human quirkiness) and that He would help me get over my selfish self.

And that sort of refreshing, make-me-new grace is something to rejoice about.

May your weekend be filled with the fullness of God and the humble beauty of fully relying on Him.

For His Glory ~

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5 thoughts on “Wasted…

  1. You are not alone – we all have those weeks! What a blessing that you could send them to your mom’s after classes Friday. And remember this, nothing is wasted if it causes us to turn to the Lord and seek His wisdom.

  2. I’m with ya, sister! It was that kind of week for us last week too! I caught myself in the shower (at 3 in the afternoon w/ tv babysitting the kids) reciting to myself “worst mom ever, worst mom ever, worst mom ever” …and in the midst of it I realized what I was doing, laid it at His feet and found redemption and grace. Hugs to you and prayers for a better week

  3. Pingback: 2014: Week in Review {Week 5} | My Ears Are Tired

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