The Gift of Structure

It starts again today.  The run-around.  The taxi-service.  The activity schedule that often has us out more than we’re in.

Strangely, I’m looking forward to it.  I’m looking forward to the structure it demands.  I’m looking forward to the hard stops, the fixed times.  I appreciate, at least to a degree, the pressure it puts on us to try a little harder, do a little better.

I don’t ever want a crazy life.  I need a lot of slow.  Our kids need a good amount too.  But I appreciate how a moderate level of busyness can force me to focus and use my time more wisely and push myself harder to fit more in to the day.

So here’s to a new year of ballet, horse back riding, gymnastics, choir, speech, and more….and that’s just the girls’ stuff.  Here’s to whatever God has planned as He stretches us, fills us, and makes us more like His Son.

And here’s to continuing to count, to celebrate the gifts He gives.

1321.  switched rooms

1322.  air conditioning

1323.  hottest days on record

1324.  first day of a new school year

1325.  eager students

1326.  Teaching Textbooks

1327.  eleven years old

1328.  more pics of our little girl

1329.  first photo shoot down

1330.  afternoon nap

1331.  Cafe Holliday chips and guac delivery

1332.  an afternoon of laughter and silliness

1333.  the return of hard stops

On Being Blind

There are days I want to crawl back into bed and hide under my covers. There are days I will excuse myself from the school table, the room, and go find quiet solace somewhere, anywhere. There are days when I bite my tongue hard to hold back the poisoned darts and still they fly free.

Today was one of those days.

I’m learning that I have a hard time being the responsible, get-stuff-done mom while still maintaining my laugh-out-loud-isn’t-life-fun persona. It seems I can only be one or the other. And I think this is why I cling so hard to summer. No school means we can go have fun and the house doesn’t have to fall apart. Warm weather and abundant sunshine mean laying by the pool, sitting on the patio, family bike rides, and just about everything else in the world that I love to do.

And I really want to be that mom year-round. But then, we would never do school or anything else hard because it would interfere with my schedule and our fun.

Unfortunately (from our fleshly perspective), God hasn’t called us to a life of fun. He hasn’t called us to bask in the sun all day every day while children frolic in the water. No, He has called us to work, and good deeds, and to count it all joy.

Joy. It can be hard to find when all you can focus on is the clock ticking down to bedtime.

Joy. It sits all around me at the school table and calls my name a billion times a day and needs my love and attention like it needs air to breathe.

Joy. It’s not always fun and easy and laughter. Sometimes it’s hard and ugly and comes with tears.

I lost my focus today and missed the joy in front of me. I admit, it would have been hard to find, even if I had been looking, but it was there.

It was there in the child who begged me time and again to play Five Crowns and who I kept saying “later” to and never did play with.

It was there in the mess of recyclables and scrapbook paper and the girls made furniture for their American Girl dolls.

It was there in their delight over tacos and bread dough and my iPhone.

It was all around me and I missed my chance to soak it in, to live in it.

**Lord, help me to focus on the joy all around me. I am living my own dream. You have blessed me beyond measure and I daily take it for granted. Forgive me, Lord, for my arrogance and my ungratefulness. Keep my eyes focused on you and your countless good gifts, even the ones that are hard to see. For your glory and for their hearts….Amen.”

Eleven

She’s strong and steady.

She’s ballet and beauty.

She’s a lot like her dad.

She’s a lot like me.

She’s the oldest child.

She’s the least eager to grow up.

She’s born to lead.

She’s growing in His grace.

She’s amazing.

And now she’s eleven.

Happy Birthday, Grace.  I’m so blessed to be your mother, so humbled to lead you on this walk into womanhood.  You, like all your sisters, truly are an “undeserved gift”.

A Household Staple

While my enjoyment of cooking is a fairly recent thing, I have long enjoyed making breads of different kinds and thanks to my husband’s ravings on Facebook, I have received a lot of requests for my whole wheat bread recipe.  This is a recipe that belonged to one family friend and was given to me by another.  I had tried many times over the years to make whole wheat bread and it always turned out dry, crumbly, and rock hard.  But this bread…this is bread is YUM!

Whole Wheat Bread (for Bosch)

(Adjusted for Kitchen Aid by Me)

Grind approximately 5 ½ to 6 cups wheat (which should yield approximately 9 to 11 cups flour).

½  cup oil
½  cup honey
3 ¼  cups warm water
4 cups wheat flour
1 Tblsp dough enhancer (vital wheat gluten-optional)
1 Tblsp. Salt
2 Tblsp. yeast

Mix flour and other dry ingredients in mixing bowl.

In a separate bowl, mix liquid ingredients.  Slowly add to dry ingredients.

Continue to add flour to about 8 to 10 cups total until dough begins to cleanly pull away from mixing bowl.  If mixer begins to sound strained, stop and knead by hand.

Coat dough with oil and allow to rise until double in a warm place under a towel.

Punch dough down and separate into two to three portions, approximately 1 1/4 # each. Shape into loaves and place into greased bread pans.  Return to warm place and allow loaves to rise under a towel. Heat oven to 350o and bake 25-30 minutes.

As the recipe states, the original was created for Bosch.  So, if you happen to have a Bosch, you can actually double all of the ingredients and this should make up to 6 loaves of yummy, warm bread.

If you do not have a Bosch, but have a Kitchen Aid then the type of KA will be important.  I have a “Professional 600” model and it can handle this amount of flour.  A good friend of mine has started making this recipe but has a less-powerful model, so she halves this recipe, but is still very pleased with the results.

Also, as you can see in the photo at the bottom, I get two very large loaves.  I can get three normal sized loaves out of this recipe, but they seem to be a bit drier.  So, at the request of my beloved, I make what you see below.

One more note on wheat.  I have been told that at least one reason why my former attempts at wheat bread were unsatisfying was because of the type of wheat I was using.  Until recently, I always just purchased the whole wheat flour at the grocery store.  Apparently, this has no nutritional value (or at least very little) and the processing causes it to lose many of the qualities that make for good bread.

So, on our Texas Tour in May, I bought a wheat grinder from a friend who was selling hers.  Now, I will confess, I have never tried this recipe with store-bought wheat and at this point I think I would sooner just buy a store-bought loaf of bread before I go through all the effort of making home made bread and risk it not turning out, but I suppose one could try it and see how it goes.  Regardless, I am now a convert to fresh ground wheat.  It is so much better and more flavorful.  If you do not have access to fresh ground wheat or a grinder, perhaps you can beg some off a friend so you can at least try it before deciding to invest in a grinder of your own.  The grinding process itself is pretty quick and (at least with my machine) could be entrusted to a responsible, older child.

Anyway, that’s the process.  It’s really an easy recipe and totally worth the effort!  Enjoy!

~ Sara

A Return to Routine

It always comes about this time, that antsy feeling, that unspoken longing for schedule, routine, order to our days.  Summer….that glorious time of freedom, sun, water, and play…it takes its toll and our God-given desire for order and productivity begins to cry out.

I love summer.  I love the heat and the endless sunshine.  But I am eager this year for the return of school and routine even if that means the coming on of fall and even winter.  I have come to realize that all these things are (literal) seasons and do not last forever, even if a Kansas winter can find a way to drag into May sometimes.

Tomorrow we begin a new school year.  Two children are begging me to let them start today.  Two more are enjoying their last day to sleep in, in spite of the roofers tearing off shingles above them.  Over the next month activities will come back in on a weekly basis and – amazingly – we will slow down into that steady routine of a school year.  After a wild summer that seemed determined to spin wildly with things to do it will be comforting to know that every week will look more or less the same from now until May.

I am thankful for the past three months.  A family road trip, a house remodeled, swimming pools and lake beaches, our dossier almost complete, and so much more.  And I am thankful for the start of a new school year.  New books, new curriculum, new opportunities.  God is so good and His gifts are endless.

 

1299.  yard sales

1300.  crazy heat

1301.  support

1302.  God’s protection of the third born.  Again.

1303.  a weekend away

1304.  first date anniversary

1305.  wedding anniversary

1306.  spending life with my best friend

1307.  team planning

1308.  sweet friend who prays over me while we run

1309.  dear women who help clean Amania’s house

1310.  pool time with the littlest

1311.  McDonald’s ice cream cones

1312.  $815

1313.  school entered for the coming year

1314.  relaxing Friday

1315.  Camp Enosh

1316.  Tad’s Tropical Snow

1317.  a sign in the yard

1318.  a whole week of slowing down

1319.  family bike ride

1320. last day of summer break

May your week be full of His good gifts.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

*photos from a recent family bike ride; please note that we do not typically let our children play in the public fountains, but with the heat index at 109, we made some concessions.  😉

For Posterity

Matt took the youngest out to breakfast at the local farmer’s market this morning.  Ellie is never without something to say, and typically what comes out of her mouth is laugh out loud funny.  He posted these quotes to Facebook this morning, so if you’ve already seen them I apologize for the redundancy, but I haven’t done a good job of chronicling her humor lately and these are too good to forget…

I don't even know what this face is about.

  • “I don’t think I’ll ever go on a diet, but I might get fat and go on The Biggest Loser.”
  • “Dad, were you 1/2 bald when you were a kid?  ‘Cause you’re all the way bald now.”
  • “Dad, did you know that you are made out of atoms?  Your hat, your arms, your head….even your poop has atoms.”
  • “Dad, just ’cause we fight over them sometimes, does NOT mean Satan made balloons.”

What happens when Ellie dresses herself.

Happy Saturday, everyone!  May your day be laugh out loud funny too.

~ Sara

Gold

He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold. ~ Job 23:10

The path of faith is one of sorrow and joy, suffering and healing comfort, tears and smiles, trials and victories, conflicts and triumphs, and also hardships, dangers, beatings, persecutions, misunderstanding, trouble, and distress.  Yes “in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

Yes, “in all these” – even during storms, when the winds are the most intense – “we are more than conquerors.”  You may be tempted to run from the ordeal of a fierce storm of testing, but head straight for it!  God is there to meet you in the center of each trial.  And He will whisper to you His secrets, which will bring you out with a radiant face and such an invincible faith that all the demons of hell will never be able to shake it.

~ E.A. Kilbourne

~ from Streams in the Desert, July 12

When You’re Feeling Small and Insignificant

The emotions swirled this weekend and they all ran strong.  My head swam with thoughts and goals and fears and plans.  And even today everything spins and feels off-kilter, and I, I feel small and insignificant.

In a life where most of my days are spent on the mundane and the unseen (unless, of course, I fail to do it….then it’s very seen!), where every day looks much the same and it’s not hard for the Enemy to plant seeds that what I do does not matter, I am thankful for journals and blogs and gratitude lists that remind me that my Jesus, the God of the Universe, cares and sees and knows.  And He loves me.  And He delights in me.

And the wonderful part is, He’s just as crazy in love with you.

1278.  joyful gift giving

1279.  pierced ears

1280.  new curls

1281.  popsicles on hot days

1282.  air conditioning

1283.  a job for a dear friend

1284.  a gift for our daughter far away

1285.  school books ordered

1286.  holiday weekends

1287.  family

1288.  friends

1289.  freedom

1290.  a quiet day to catch up

1291.  free food for faux cows

1292.  girlfriends over to play

1293.  a weekend full of Haiti

1294.  meeting Daniel and Nicole

1295.  ice cream social

1296.  24 children sponsored

1297.  a text at just the right time

1298.  remembering His faithfulness

I pray that this week you would  know your worth and that you are loved desperately, madly by the King of kings and Lord of lords.  He died to make you His own.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Wingless Birds

They will soar on wings like eagles. ~ Isaiah 40:31

There is a fable about the way birds first got their wings. The story goes that initially they were made without them. Then God made the wings, set them down before the wingless birds, and said to them, “Take up these burdens and carry them.”

The birds had sweet voices for singing, and lovely feathers that glistened in the sunshine, but they could not soar in the air. When ask to pick up the burden that lay at their feet, they hesitated at first. Yet soon they obeyed, picked up the wings with their beaks and set them on their shoulders to carry them.

For a short time the load seemed heavy and difficult to bear, but soon, as they continued to carry the burden and to fold the wings over their hearts, the wings grew attached to their little bodies. They quickly discovered how to use them and were lifted by the wings high into the air. The weights had become wings.

This is a parable for us. We are the wingless birds, and our duties and tasks are the wings God uses to lift us up and carry us heavenward. We look at our burdens and heavy loads, and try to run from them, but if we will carry them and tie them to our hearts, they will become wings. And on them we can then rise and soar toward God.

There is no burden so heavy that when lifted cheerfully with love in our hearts will not become a blessing to us. God intends for our tasks to be our helps; to refuse to bend our shoulders to carry a load is to miss a new opportunity for growth. (J.R. Miller)

~ Streams in the Desert, July 8

May you see your burdens as blessings this weekend and allow them to carry you to the throne of grace, my friends.

For His Glory ~
~ Sara

Still Here

Life keeps moving along in a good kind of crazy.  Thoughts roll around in my head on a myriad of topics: adoption, fear, ministry, schooling, family, friendship, and always – where does blogging fit in?  It’s important to me, but is it what God wants me to be doing with the limited hours that I have?  I wonder; I wonder about so many things.  I miss the writing.  I’m sure I’ll return to it soon.

In the meantime, photos from Emma’s first horse show at the end of June.  She looked beautiful and did a great job.  She took fourth (out of four 😉 ), but that was fine with her.  Now the hard part comes – choosing between horses and ballet for fall.

Matt trying to tie her tie backwards (skinny side out).

Waiting

#38

A rain storm blew in and it was pretty chilly in the stands

Emma and Lady Jane

Emma, Lady Jane, and Mrs. Cindy

I hope you’re having a wonderful summer.  From everyone I talk to, it sounds like summer is going as fast for everyone else as it is for us.  I’m secretly, reluctantly, ready for fall and the routine of school.  However, I have thoroughly enjoyed my children sleeping until 9 (or later) every day this week!  The school year will come soon.  Make the most of the remaining weeks of summer, friends!

For His Glory ~

~ Sara