Worship

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.  But God wills our good, and our good is to love Him.” ~  CS Lewis

The end of last week was wildly busy; the weekend intentionally slow.  The pictures of our adventures sit waiting, impatiently, on my camera.  Words will have to be enough for today, and even of those, only a few.

Today, like almost every Monday, I worship by listing just some of the countless blessings of the previous week.

0817.  broken lamp

0818.  “keep calm and carry on”

0819.  husband in the ditch, but safe

0820.  AAA

0821.  a found purse!!!

0822.  city parks employee

0823.  Grace.  Immeasurable grace.

0824.  spontaneous lunch with the hubs

0825.  good school days

0826.  municipal wrongs forgiven

0827.  spotting half a dozen deer on our morning run

0828.  a cleaner house

0829.  tenth birthday camping trips

0830. an hour and a half of sleep

0831.  a slow Saturday

0832.  church’s annual fall festival

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

~ Psalm 19:14

A God in the Details

Last Friday, I was angry.  I was angry about my purse.  I was angry about how life was going.  Our insurance was willing to cover the loss, but it wasn’t worth filing the claim with what it would do to our rates.  I appealed to the buyer’s protection with our credit card; they wouldn’t cover theft from a car.  I felt like everything was going wrong.  And I was mad.  I worked my way through that anger, enjoyed a relaxing drive and laughing with my husband, and then danced the night away with friends.  By Saturday, my soul was at rest.  I had reached a point of accepting where things were at in life and was “claiming” a drama-free week for our family.  And I still had hope for my purse and wallet.  In the back of my mind my only thought was, maybe none of these other avenues are working because God is going to give it back to me.

In spite of my “claim” for a drama-free week, Monday morning started with one of our favorite red glass lamps being shattered while the children built a fort on the couch.  One of those mother moments when I looked and thought, This is a really bad idea.  And then I also thought, No, Sara, let them do this.  Say yes. So I let them and went upstairs for a bit.  And then I heard the shattering thud and knew instantly what had happened.  😦  So, before lunchtime I had given up my hopes for drama-free this week.

Tuesday morning, Matt found himself in a ditch in his truck.  *sigh*  I laughed.  I couldn’t help myself.  He was fine, just terribly inconvenienced, and I couldn’t help but laugh.  So, so ridiculous it was.

So Tuesday afternoon when the city services truck stopped in front of my house I honestly wondered what the next thing would be.  I wondered if something had happened with our payment and now our water was being turned off.  It just seemed like the next ridiculous occurrence in this series of unfortunate events.

The men in the truck sat out there a bit, so I went on and forgot about them, until one of them came to my door.  “I’m looking for Sara,” he said.  “I’m she,” I responded.  “Did you lose a purse?” he asked.

I gasped and my eyes had to be as large as saucers and I replied, “Did you find my purse?!!?”

He led me out to his truck and there it was sitting in the back, dirty and crumpled, but completely intact with my wallet inside.  I hugged him.  I couldn’t help it.  I told him I had been praying for it and that my friends had and that he had made my day.

I asked him where he found it.  He said it was in a trash can at a local park, about two miles north of where my purse was stolen.  He said they find them there all the time.

The smell on the purse is indescribable.  I took it to a local cleaner’s yesterday because I couldn’t even bear to have it on my front porch.  As best I can tell, the thief only took my money.  Every last penny was gone out of my wallet, but nearly everything else was there.  A few random items are missing from my purse, but my guess is that they fell out in the trash can because it’s silly things like lip gloss and fingernail clippers.

I knew my money was gone as soon as the purse went missing.  All I asked of the Lord was that I could have the purse and wallet back.  I didn’t care about any of the rest of it. I have seen God in so many little details throughout my seventeen year walk with Him that I never doubted His ability to bring that purse back, if He was willing.  (And after all this, I’m also confident He can get the smell out of it!  🙂 )

Matt and I have been asking ourselves for weeks, but especially the past several days, Is this God?  Is this Satan?  What are we supposed to be learning? And those thoughts continued to roll through my head as I processed the excitement of the afternoon.  What was God saying by giving this back?  Had we done something right?  What was it?

As I drove along, my soul knew it wasn’t anything we had done.  It was just God.  He gave it back because He’s God and He can and He chose to.  It’s grace. Simply grace.  And really it’s His grace that leads us through the trials that bring us to our knees.  For if grace means undeserved gift, then the trials of life that make us more like His Son are surely also grace.  It’s all grace.  Every moment.  Every breath.

And I’m so thankful for His endlessly abundant grace and His concern for the details of this day-to-day life.  Oh, how deep is His love for us!

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

What Do You Do?

Once again on Wednesday I rose early to run.  No inclement weather threatened this time.  We met, Nikki and I, at our usual place, parked our cars, and started out.  Four and a half sluggish miles later we returned to the parking lot, laughing and rejoicing that we had finished.  And then we saw it.

Nikki saw it first – the back window on my SUV shattered.  Glass all over ground, floor, Ellie’s car seat.  My purse gone.  My new purse, a “souvenir” from my trip to Chicago with Grace.  The purse, the wallet, all the contents…credit cards, driver’s license, who knows what else…and the cash for our groceries this week….gone.

What do you do when it feels like this is just another incident in a long series of major incidents?  What do you do when you feel like you’ve spent the summer facing unexpected expense after unexpected expense, and none of them small?  When it just seems to be one thing after another?

What do you do?  You remember that moth and rust destroy, that thieves break in and steal.  You cling to the promise that every good and perfect gift is from above….all things work together….He will provide….He is here….He is enough…He is faithful.

What do you do when children come, smiles hidden, eyes alight and hand you envelopes rattling with change, stuffed with monies saved and cards made?  You weep and you hug and you give thanks.  In this inconvenient, broken moment of canceling credit cards and replacing shattered windows, you find your own heart shattered at this love-gift from children, from a Savior.  For without this broken moment, their beautiful gift never could have been given.

And I give thanks….

0805.  broken window

0806.  stolen purse

0807.  a friend who prays with me and for me

0808.  generous, abundantly generous, children


0809.  granny oakley

0810.  drives in the country

0811. dancing

0812.  barn swings

0813.  laughing

0814.  perspective

0815.  Sunday school prayer time

0816.  someone who dances with me



Oh, sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord all the earth!  Sing to the Lord, bless His name; tell of His salvation from day to day.  Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples!  For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods.

~ Psalm 96:1-4

Early

Last Wednesday, I woke in the 5 o’clock hour, like I do every Wednesday.  I clicked the weather app on my Blackberry, making sure the rain was still going  to hold off.  Clear skies, it said.  Weary, I rolled slowly out of bed and began to dress to run.  I ate my breakfast, tended the dog, and strapped on my watch.  I grabbed my water and went out to the truck and started driving west, toward our meeting place.

And then I began to see lightning.  A little at first, then more frequent and more threatening looking.  I texted back and forth with my running partner and we finally decided to cancel our date.  I did what any logical person would do at 6:30 in the morning, I turned toward Starbucks.  🙂

Out of my truck windows, I began to see the color rising in the east.  Reds and oranges like I had never seen before.  And I was speechless.

As much as I wanted to sleep in that morning, as exasperating as it was to get up and get ready and NOT run, I knew this was why the forecast on my phone had been wrong.  I needed to see that sunrise.  A heavenly reminder as I began my day that He is here, He is enough.

And while He is enough in and of Himself, He gives graciously and abundantly.  And I count the gifts.

0792.  six miles

0793.  conquering the beastly hill and reaching our summer goal

0794.  a quiet afternoon in my room

0795.  a change of pace

0796.  indescribable sunrise

0797.  texts from friends as I prepare to speak

0798.  speech completed!

0799.  feeling one thousand pounds lighter

0800.  the completion of another family wedding

0801.  a Saturday to recover

0802.  sleeping until 10 am

0803.  Sunday morning worship

0804.  Sunday evening at home

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

~ Ephesians 4:29

May your words and your actions today encourage one another and point to the Giver of all good gifts.

By His Grace ~

~ Sara

**Photos courtesy of my good friend Angee who took these out on her land on Wednesday morning.

Dreams Fulfilled

Four years now she’s watched and tagged along as older sisters came and went each week, disappearing into a cloud of pink and lavender and green.  They would slip on pink slippers and leotards of pink or purple or black.  Once a year they brought home delightful costumes and she would twirl around in them for months to come.  Four years she’s waited for her day, her turn, to enter this world of pink fluff.

On Thursday her time finally arrived.  Countless times she reminded me, “Today’s my first day of ballet!”  At noon she asked if she could get ready; class didn’t start until 4:30.  Excited doesn’t describe her emotions.  She nearly floated into the studio, not needing me to walk her.  She’d seen this walk countless times, she knew exactly what to do.

Another ballerina has been born in our family.

And I give thanks for another ballerina, more pink fluff and ballet slippers, and all that these girls are to us.  I give thanks for all this and more….

0778.  new storm door

0779.  foregoing grocery shopping for an hour at the park

0780.  little girl hair cuts

0781.  going to God when you feel mistreated

0782.  birthday wishes and greetings

0783.  early mornings with my Beloved

0784.  coffee from a friend

0785.  thoughts put into words

0786.  wondering what God is doing

0787.  33 years

0788.  another ballerina

0789.  humbling

0790.  time to finally relax and have fun with my girls

0791.  small group prayer time


Why I Must Count Them

We file in to royal blue stadium seats, high up in the nosebleed section, calves burning from the climb.  Hours of labor traded for hours of relaxed enjoyment:  tickets bought for us and friends; a perfect Sunday afternoon to spend at the ball park.

Third inning and my Beloved hikes down to the concession stands.  Nachos and sodas, a pretzel, and a hot dog; arms heavy laden with traditional treats for the family.  Unable to keep it all straight, he brings the hot dog for ketchup-only child prepared for ketchup-mustard-relish child.  Ketchup-only wails.  Baseball fans around us move to empty seats a little higher up or out.  I set aside my nachos and my pride and haul out ketchup-only for a pep talk.  I remind her of her father’s gift to her today – an afternoon out, instead of naps; a treat; good gifts.  She sobers and remembers.  This day is a gift, even the mustard and relish.

We return to way-high seats.  We settle in.  She looks at her Daddy and says, thank you.

And so I too must count daily – because I get too hung up on the parts I don’t care for and miss the fact that everything is a gift from the Heavenly Father.  Daily counting, and weekly sharing, reminds me that everything is for His glory.  And my good.  Because He is good.

0761.  NeilMed sinus rinse

0762.  out of town guests coming

0763.  motivation to finish projects

0764.  dinner with seven young ladies

0765.  back yard triathlons

0766.  easy school days

0767.  a clean house

0768.  folded laundry

0769.  getting out for twenty minutes

0770.  clean sheets

0771.  Starbucks pumpkin spice latte

0772.  friends from out of town

0773.  a night in Lawrence and a real-life interaction with Coach Bill Self

0774.  Royals baseball win

0775.  a beautiful day

0776.  last day at the North pool

0777.  the encouragement to count these gifts

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of His nature, and He upholds the universe by the word of His power.

~ Hebrews 1:3a


Blessed

Thank you so much to all of you that commented or emailed me following yesterday’s post.  There are some posts that are frightening to put out there, posts that come from deep within a wounded heart and reveal the inner workings of the soul.  I was moved to tears multiple times by your sweet words and encouragement.  I am blessed to have such wonderful friends and encouraging readers.

It’s a little bizarre to post about something as intensely personal as “family planning”.  I often wonder if ten years from now we will look back on the world of blogging and shake our heads at some of the things we shared with the world.  But this is in many ways a journal of our life (a very public journal) that I pray daily the Lord will use to encourage those who stop and read, and the decision to have more children or not or when or how is very much a part of our lives.  I pray about it constantly.  One would have to know my husband’s background and the worldview that we entered marriage with to fully understand how complex this decision is for us and that it is one that may never be fully settled until God settles it naturally.

In any case, thank you, for your kindness.

I love this quote that a friend posted on Facebook yesterday ~

May this be your experience; may you feel the Hand which inflicts the wound supplies the balm, and that He who has emptied your heart has filled the void with Himself. ~ Hudson Taylor

We all have a variety of voids; lacking a son is only one of many in my life.  I can truly say that the One who has emptied my heart time and again is faithful to fill it with Himself.  Only He can truly satisfy.

By His Grace ~

~ Sara

Simple Monday, Simple Thanks

0753.  protection for my beloved

0754.  inconveniences

0755.  precious texts from a friend

0756.  apple pie deliveries

0757.  a great run

0758.  three and a half miles – no stopping

0759.  freinds’ gratitude lists

0760.  days that remind you how broken and sinful you are and how desperately you need God’s grace

From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another.

~ John 1:16

Photos – the last group from our trip to Chicago.

Undeserved Gifts

We pass them on the street – all men, mostly black, holding their cardboard signs – “Hungry”, “Homeless”, “Please help”, “God bless”, “We’re all God’s children”.  They rattle their cups, asking passersby to contribute their loose change.  My heart turns inside me with each one I pass.  A general rule of never giving cash, I keep my eyes focused ahead and pray.  I pray for wisdom and discernment for me, provision for them, and that God would be speaking both to me and to the ten year old girl with me what the right response is.  One woman, toothless and hungry, asks me to buy her a sandwich.  So we back track a few steps to the 7-11 and I buy her a sandwich and a drink.  “When I was hungry, you gave me food to eat…” Oldest child asks why they don’t go to the mission to get a meal, why they don’t go inside the store that says “Hiring”, why they sit there and hold their signs.  I have no easy answers.  I have no answers at all really.  “I don’t know, Grace,” I say, helpless.

I am thankful that I cannot pass them and feel nothing.  I am thankful for the work God is doing in my life and the lives of my children.  I am thankful that, even though I feel small and helpless and confused in these situations, I serve a God who is big enough and I trust Him for the answers.

Giving thanks for just some of the undeserved gifts….

0741.  three days away with my oldest daughter

0742.  my dad’s fuel-efficient Camry

0743.  safe travels

0744.  memories made

0745.  the city of Chicago

0746.  suggestions from many friends

0747.  husband who supports my renewed love for road trips

0748.  kids finally old enough to make road trips fun again

0749.  coming home to house clean and ironing done

0750.  talking until 2 am

0751.  being reunited with the one I love

0752.  welcome home hugs from little girls

Afternoon Reflections

It’s afternoon on a Monday.  School is finished for the day and children are tucked away for an hour of quiet.  I settle in at the kitchen work station to perform a few quotidian mysteries.   But first I do my maternal soul work and count the blessings of the week past.

0733.  a dog that didn’t fit but was desperately loved

0734.  doggie “grandparents” that loved her even more

0735.  being really impressed with our vet

0736.  days and weeks that get all interrupted


0737.  sunshine and water


0738.  a leotard that fits!

0739.  the weekend and friends to share it with

0740.  small group gatherings and good conversation


But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, “Great is the Lord!”

~Psalm 40:16

May your Monday be filled with rejoicing and gladness, for truly, “Great is the Lord!”