Monday morning dawned with to do list overflowing its page and calendar squares bulging til the end of the year and an irritable crankiness settled in like a heavy fog.  And I grumbled against that to do list and these children and how home schooling just takes so.much.time.

And this morning as I sat at His feet and soaked up His word, still battling the irritability and anxiety, I read in Streams,

Do not fret. (Psalm 37:1)

I believe that this verse is as much a divine command as “You shall not steal”.  But what does it mean to fret?  One person once defined it as that which makes a person rough the surface, causing him to rub and wear himself and others away.

And isn’t that what I’ve done all week, what I do every time I allow life to overwhelm and crowd out the most important things?  I become rough on the surface and wear us all away. So I pray about schedules and priorities and how to put first things first and not let the urgent become a tyrant in our lives.  And today is a new day and I choose to trust God with our schedule and our time.

In the early morning dark I also read this quote from Ann,

Life’s not hard because you’re doing anything wrong:  Life is a battle.  Put on your armor.

And it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with schedules and surrendering our time to God, but it gives me strength today as I remember again that this life is not easy, it is a battle, so I should expect hard and I should expect challenges and I need to dress for war every day. But by surrendering my time, my expectations, my schedule to Him, I am freed to fight the battles He brings with both hands, rather than fighting one-handed while clinging fiercely to my own plans with the other.

And as I drove across town this week to get a tooth for a science project, I soaked in the silence but begrudged the trip out in the middle of busy.  But as I drove I talked to God and heard His Spirit whisper in the midst of my unhappy grumbling just give thanks.  Thanks for to do lists that will never be done.  Thanks for kids and projects that send you driving all over town collecting teeth or staying up helping with fundraisers or cleaning rooms you’ve helped clean a thousand times.  Thanks for the opportunity to die to myself and my own plans and to serve Christ by serving others, primarily my family.  And thanks for all the gifts He daily gives….

2154.  perfect fall days

2155.  a tour of the local fruit farm

2156.  apple cider slush

2157.  apple cider donuts

2158.  making happy memories

2159.  a pantry re-stocked

2160.  a couple of days off school

2161.  resting, relaxing, slowing where we can

2162.  thirteen miles run

2163.  a long, slow Saturday

2164.  laughing all evening long with old friends

2165.  seeing others give so generously to help the oldest go to Haiti

2166.  warm furnace turned on

2167.  girls in jammies all Saturday long

2168.  the Sunday crazy train and all it teaches me about grace and giving it abundantly

2169.  an honest, insightful letter from a daughter who struggles to find her place

2170.  a Spirit reminder to just say “thanks”

2171.  grocery day

2172.  fall riding in on a cool north wind

2173.  new shoes.  again

2174.  yummy new recipes and happily feeding my family

I continue in my 31 days of prayer and I lift up prayers for a changed heart and eyes opened and a mind stayed on the truth of His Word.  I lift up prayers to continue to rest from the fretting and the wearing down of those around me and to daily put on my armor and die to myself and my plans.  And I lift up prayers that you would each know the realness of His presence in your life this week.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara