Author: Sara Vincent

A New Day

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I wish I could say that I went on yesterday to live in victory and walk in peace with my children.  Apparently they didn’t get the memo that we were starting fresh, so when I left the computer and their attitudes were still as crummy as mine had been when I sat down, I confess that I fell into despair again.

Matt came home at one point during the day and pointed out that what he had read in yesterday’s post and what he was seeing dragging around the house with the long face were not the same person.  😦

Some days you lose the battle.  Yesterday I lost.  I was tired and gave up.  I appreciate the comments and encouragement that many of you shared with me; they were and are a blessing.  My rational side knew the truth yesterday, but my emotions got the better of me.

But this is the beauty of grace.  Today is new.  A good night of sleep, a cup of coffee, and time in the Word, and I feel stronger.  I still quiver a bit at facing today, still feeling the bruises and tender from yesterday’s struggles, but I am ready to start again.  I am encouraged.

I read this today in my quiet time:

Steel is the product of iron plus fire.  Soil is rock plus heat and the crushing of glaciers.  Linen is flax plus the water that cleans it, the comb that separates it, the flail that pounds it, and the shuttle that weaves it.  In the same way, the development of human character requires a plus attached to it, for great character is made not through luxurious living but through suffering.  And the world does not forget people of great character.

Some day God is going to reveal this fact to every Christian:  the very things they now rebel against are the instruments He has used to perfect their character and to mold them into perfection, so they may later be used as polished stones in His heaven yet to come.

~ Streams in the Desert, December 2

And this Scripture reading went along with it:

For because He Himself has suffered when tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.

~ Hebrews 2:16

Lonely as I may feel some days, I am not alone.  And the struggles we face, the girls and I, are not without purpose.

Have a blessed Thursday, friends!

By His Grace ~

~ Sara

Doing the Hardest Thing

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I once thought giving birth was the hardest thing I would ever do.  The months of discomfort, night after night of no sleep, the agony of waiting.  Then, the contractions, intense and unlike anything describable.  The pushing, the sweat and tears.

But then they are born, delivered from the womb, and sent out by God to be led by us.  This, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Daily being faced with my own weaknesses.  Seeing my short-comings reflected back in my children’s lives.  Working through their failings and reliving my own.

The desire to give up, to throw in the towel, is intense.  The fact that I simply cannot is overwhelming, intimidating, and an incredible challenge.  My vision for our family and what I see within these four walls are painfully different from each other.

The past two weeks have been hectic.  My mind has been preoccupied with many things – birthday festivities, Thanksgiving foods, a neighborhood open house – none of these things are my children.  They have become a burden of sorts, and I have no doubt they can sense that.  And so their behavior reflects what their hearts feel and the clash continues between us.

I am reminded this morning that it is when I like them least that I must love on them most.  When I am distracted and burdened by the daily responsibilities, that is when I most need to put the house work aside and sit with them and read and reflect and most of all, slow.  Slow myself.  Slow them.  Slow this rushing time.

So, today we will do that.  The cleaning must still be done and so must some school work.  But surely there is a way to do that without losing them in the process?

This hardest thing, this raising of God’s children, can only be done on my knees, even on my face.  I do not know what to do, I cannot see the next step, but my God knows it and I must trust Him to lead me in it.  We face a mighty enemy that fights for their souls, and if he can’t have those, he will fight for their story, to make their story about him or about them, and not about the One who was born to die for them.  I stand today, overwhelmed and weary, and face the battle that lies ahead, knowing that I will remain on these front lines for years.  I stand, but I fall to my knees and cry out like Jehoshaphat as he faced the mighty army, , “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

My eyes are on you, O Lord, show me the way to lead them to you.

Time and Balance Tuesday – My Favorite Hour of the Day

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I love to read.  And our curriculum is heavy on literature, so the girls need a lot of time to read as well.  Fortunately, they all like to read, so that helps.  In spite of our universal affinity for reading, I found we were still having a hard time fitting all the reading in to each day, and I certainly didn’t have any spare time to read for pleasure!  That is, until I discovered what has become my favorite hour of the day.

After lunch, I grab my heating pad, a glass of water, and a timer.  We all grab whatever book we’re working through and blankets, and we settle in on the couches.  I set the timer for thirty minutes and everyone reads quietly.  Bliss, I tell you! Pure bliss!  😉  After that thirty minutes, I will then read to them a chapter from a read-aloud book, which typically takes another thirty minutes.  This change in our school routine has been a huge blessing.  We aren’t able to do it every day, but if we go too long without it I get that dry, desperate feeling, similar to missing my quiet times for too long.

This hour has replaced “rest time”, which never was very restful anyway once all the kids gave up naps.  I spent most of that time brooding because I could hear them all upstairs not resting. This way, my ears get an hour of quiet and we all get to do something we enjoy together.

What about you?  Have you found a creative way to fit something you enjoy into your daily/weekly schedule?  Feel free to share in the comments section!

Have a wonderful Tuesday, friends!

~ Sara

Thankful

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It’s Monday morning.  I sit here with heat on my lower back and strive to be thankful for the ache that kept me awake most of the night, giving me extra time to think, pray.  Gratitude is a habit that must be practiced, cultivated, worked at.  To find the blessing in something hard.  To remember to stop and say thank you when things go wonderfully right.

Over the weekend, I was reading the newsletter from a medical sharing ministry we participate in.  Ray King, who always writes the closing article says it well –

We have a lot to be thankful for.  Our God richly provides us with everything to enjoy.

The passage above (I Timothy 6:17b) was directed to the rich in this present age, but the basic principle applies to everyone.  We can be so focused on material things, that we turn our attention away from God.  We can end up wanting more and become ungrateful, even though He generously gives each of us everything we need.

Thankfulness is a characteristic of obedient followers of Jesus Christ.  Ingratitude for God’s provision is an early sign of unbelief (Romans 1:21).

We need to gratefully focus on how good God is, not only on Thanksgiving Day, but every day.”

 

0911.  running with my beloved

0912.  no school

0913.  girls who sleep in

0914.  girls who don’t

0915.  the last (?) five year old

0916.  Pandora on the iPad

0917.  bills paid

0918.  the chance to slow down

0919.  sisters who give generously to each other

0920.  screen door open on the 24th of November

0921.  children who grow like weeds

0922.  making Thanksgiving Day brunch with my favorite

0923.  an over-sized sink

0924.  my dishwasher

0925.  more time with family

0926.  the second born choosing to persevere through something hard

0927.  Rescue Run

0928.  Christmas tree decorated

0929.  achy back

0930.  the Christmas season

May you cultivate Christ this week as you give intentional thanks for His abundant blessings.

~ Sara

Five

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Ellie

Ellie – the baby of the babies – turns five today.  She’s funny and charming and goofy and aggravating and quick.  She can make you laugh and make you crazy, all within the same minute.  She’s still hopelessly in love with her “night-night”, she names everything from balloons, to bugs, to furniture.  She has an imagination like I’ve never experienced in a child.  She’s a sponge that memorizes songs and poems and verses effortlessly.  She gives hugs and kisses and doesn’t know a stranger.  She has a temper that we are working on and a smile that can melt away frustration.

Five years ago I was in the early stages of labor while we enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws, the night before the real holiday.  Five years ago, she was born on Thanksgiving Day.  And we are thankful for her.

I feel like I have had more time with Ellie, that I wasn’t able to have with the other girls.  I feel like I have been able to watch her grow and change and that I know her better.  I am thankful for these five years.  I am thankful for this child and for all of her sisters.  God is so good.

Happy Birthday, Ellie!

Love ~

~ Mommy

*I won’t be posting Thursday or Friday.  I am planning to “unplug” as much as possible over the next few days and enjoy time with my favorite people.  May you have a blessed Thanksgiving weekend, my friends.  I’ll return Monday to count more of His good gifts.

Time and Balance – Grace

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Over the past several weeks we have covered many topics – getting our priorities in line, starting with the first things first, delegating, doing in bulk, multi-tasking, and many others.  If you’re new here, feel free to click the Time and Balance Tuesday tab on the right to see all the posts.  Today is the last “official” post in this series.  The theme today is give yourself grace.

Here’s the deal:  you’re going to fail.  Yup.  I said it.  In the six weeks or so that I’ve been doing this series, I have missed a Tuesday post because I ran out of time.  I have gone to bed with too many things undone.  I have lacked grace and patience with those I love most, particularly my children.  And then there’s this week, when I have front-loaded the week so heavily in hope of relaxing and enjoying the weekend, that I know I’ve been a bear to live with.  😦  We all fail.

But then there’s grace.  It doesn’t give me license to fail, but it does offer me new mercies in the morning.  It gives me hugs from a four year old and tender cards from a seven year old.  It shows me a ten year old who pitches in without being asked and an eight year old who tells me something to make me smile.  Grace – unrelenting, unyielding, unashamed grace.

I’m not perfect.  You’re not perfect.  Only Christ is perfect.  Let us follow hard after Him and trust Him for the means and the ends of each day.

I’ve enjoyed this series.  I hope you have too!  I think I will continue it as I am able, and hopefully you all will be willing to participate through the comments.

By His Grace ~

~ Sara

Surprising

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After nearly a year of pain, a year without running, he goes to a doctor.  An MRI is order for the knee, a meniscus tear is assumed.  We are told to expect surgery.  We look at the seasons of his work and what this winter holds and wonder, Lord, how will we fit it all in?

He leaves on Thursday to drive two hours to the doctor and the MRI.  We pray that the tear is minor.

I receive a call in the dollar section of Target.  An injection.  No tear!  No surgery! And I am floored, amazed by how God gives, even when we don’t ask for it.  I am humbled by how, even with all He has been up to in our lives, we completely underestimated Him and His grace.

He gives because it pleases Him to do so.  He answers prayers we don’t even pray because it brings glory to His name.

I count the blessings to remind myself of His goodness, His unrelenting grace, His love.

0902.  not needing the furnace until November 13 and 17th – a new record in seven years!

0903.  no tearing!

0904.  cortisone injections

0905.  a God who answers prayers we’re not even bold enough to pray

0906.  stomach bugs

0907.  2 am

0908.  pizza with friends

0909.  Thanksgiving groceries stacked neatly in refrigerator, on shelves

0910.  a Christmas plan in place

May you find moments in each day this week to count the grace, to record the gifts, to glorify the Giver.  Give Him praise!

~ Sara

Week in Review

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It’s Friday….can I hear a woot woot!?!?

Life rolls on like normal filled with grace and goodness and hard days when I seriously wonder if I can just run away.  We’re already here, to the third Friday in November, the Friday before Thanksgiving.  The holidays and all their crazy, busy, wonderfulness are coming fast.

Random Sidenote – As I’m sitting here trying to steal fifteen minutes to write today I am reminded of Law of Parenting #385 – Sit down at the computer and do something productive and it is guaranteed that all hell will break loose.  Or at the very least, a minimum of thirty-seven people will need your attention.  Immediately.  Even though you only have four people in your house at that time.  🙂

Back to the week…..I don’t recall anything outstanding about the week, other than trying to get the girls to take personal responsibility for their productivity during the school day.  So, a chart was made promising ice cream and toppings for each day that a child had her school work done on time.  It was successful.  Not everyone made it every day, but they started to see some consequences for all the goofing around that occurs.  We’ll continue with that a while longer, maybe upping the ante as the weeks go by.

Today the weather is beautiful and I wish I could be outside, but too much awaits here in the house.  But the girls have been outside reading for at least two hours.  I love the afternoons when we go to the library.  I’m thinking we need to make another trip early next week, before Thanksgiving break.  And then I need to hide the books until the weekend so that we can all enjoy some leisurely afternoons of reading.

Christmas decorations are (mostly) up.  😀

God has been up to something incredible again around here.  I’ll share about that on Monday, when I count His gifts.

Until then, have a glorious weekend!  May you find time to be with those you love most!

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Things That Haunt

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There are sins and scars that we carry around with us, no matter how often we repent and forgive and make new.  They are sins that were committed against us, against our will.  And they are sins committed against ourselves.  Both leave scars and marks – brandished with a scarlet A – never to forget.

Time fades the marks, but sometimes the demons that created them cut them back open.  There’s no preparing for it.  They follow you everywhere.  Even to tropical, peaceful places, where you think you should be able to escape.

**********

I lay in bed, fighting against the one I’ve hurt, fighting against myself.  I battle the lies in my head and silently ask God why.  The silence answers back.  Perhaps He doesn’t speak because He doesn’t need to.  We’ve hashed this out before.  I know the truth.  But sometimes….sometimes the lies shout louder than the truth.  Too often it seems the truth whispers.

The one I love fights his own battles on the other side of the bed.  His own demons and lies fill his head.

This is not how it was meant to be.  This is not what we were made for.  But broken people in a broken world hurt and in the crucible of marriage where we are laid bare and torn open, we can hurt even deeper.

We sleep.  It’s late.  We’re both tired.  Nothing productive will come of further discussion now.

Wounds still bleed in the morning.  Scars are still raw.  But talk comes more easily.  We know the enemy of our souls, of our marriage, is the one who started this battle.  It is him we rage against, not each other.

We pray and reunite, our hearts still wounded, but our resolve strengthened.  Things of the past cannot be changed and decisions made long ago will follow us forever.  But we serve a God who makes all things new.  He is a God of second chances.  He forgives and never gives up.  And we must be the same to each other.

I was nineteen, you were twenty-one
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much too young
But we did it anyway

We bought our rings for forty each
From a pawn shop down the road
We made our vows and took the leap
Now fifteen years ago

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

“I do” are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard
Is a good place to begin

‘Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price
For the life that we have found

And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

So when I lose my way, find me
When I loose love’s chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days
When I forget my name, remind me

‘Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear

‘Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you

Dancing in the Minefields / Andrew Peterson