Only Twelve

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Today she is twelve but for a whole year I’ve been trying to make her thirteen when others ask.  This child who has always seemed older than she is, growing up right before my eyes.

I’ve written before of how she’s my rock, this one; steady, reliable, dependable, and how she honestly makes me a better mother.  We’ve battled hard this past year, she and I, and it’s broken my heart to struggle with her this way, so uncharacteristic of our relationship.  I know this is a season and it’s her finding her own way in the world as she grows into a young adult.  And myself not being one of those attached, child-centered moms, I find it strange how much it hurts to think of her going on without me, when that’s been the goal all along.

But for now she is only twelve and in all my weakness and imperfection I continue to strive to make the most of this limited window of time.  I fail daily, but God gives grace and I trust that He will take my efforts and make them something beautiful in her life and her sister’s lives.

And this one, she is already beautiful and lovely and I pray that she sees that, she who has become camera shy and sometimes self conscious.  I pray that she sees that she is amazing, both inside and out.  I pray that she will look to God for her value and strength and identity and not to some lie sold to her on magazine covers and billboards.  I pray that she will know that “true beauty emanates from the woman who boldly and unabashedly knows who she is in Christ“.  I pray that no one will ever be able to make her forget that she is loved wildly and madly by the God of the universe and by a Savior who gave His life for her.

This year she is “only twelve”, although she seems so much older and I am thankful.  It means more time to enjoy her companionship, her humor, her budding insight into the world around her.  It means more time to develop her leadership and gentleness and God-given gifts.  It means, by God’s grace, more time with her.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

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