Sometimes thanks come easy….

August 13, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

It’s one of those Monday’s when it’s easy to give thanks. It’s been gloriously overcast and cool. A perfect day for school work and lit candles. Right now the girls are reading quietly and I am enjoying the relative silence. It’s good to sit and remember and write down the days like this one. They give courage and renewed energy for the other kinds of days.

Continuing to list the endless gifts He gives….

2006. warm sunshine

2007. take and bake pizza

2008. a leisurely day

2009. first day of school success

2010. learning to manage time again

2011. up early to run in the dark

2012. a fever blister and a head cold

2013. third-born’s nagging cough

2014. freshly shorn labradoodle and her polka-dot scarf

2015. first week of school complete

2016. cooler evenings

2017. continuing to learn patience and grace

2018. girls night out with the in-law ladies

2019. taking my girls to a real art museum

2020. waking up to 59* outside

2021. quiet Sunday morning at home

2022. sleeping child, finally rest for her from coughing

2023. overcast sky

2024. open windows

2025. start of a new week

2026. quiet house

2027. nature walk

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

When I want to run away…

August 6, 2012 / Sara Vincent / 1 Comment

As we wait for tomorrow to dawn and bring with it the beginning of a new school year, fears from how last year was creep in and overwhelm and God gives words that comfort and encourage. I didn’t know one could suffer from post-traumatic stress just by home schooling, but there is definitely a high level of anxiety as we prepare to open the books on a new year. I know we are called to this and I am called to do something I am not gifted in so that He can fill me and enable me and all glory can go to Him because it’s definitely not me.

God will make all our obstacles serve His purposes. We all have mountains in our lives, and often they are people and things that threaten to block the progress of our spiritual life. The obstacles may be a untruths told about us; a difficult occupation; a thorn in the flesh; or our daily cross. And often we pray for their removal, for we tend to think that if only these were removed we would live a more tender, pure, and holy life

‘How foolish you are and slow of heart…!’ (Luke 24:25). These are the very conditions we need for achievement, and they have been put in our lives as the means of producing the gifts and qualities for which we have been praying so long. We pray for patience for many years, and when something begins to test us beyond our endurance, we run from it. We try to avoid it, we see it as some insurmountable obstacle to our desired goal, and we believe that if it was removed, we would experience immediate deliverance and victory.

This is not true! We would simply see the temptations to be impatient end. This would not be patience. The only way genuine patience can be acquired is by enduring the very trials that seem so unbearable today.

Turn from your running and submit….There is nothing in your life that distresses or concerns you that cannot become submissive to the highest purpose. Remember they are God’s mountains. He puts them there for a reason, and we know He will never fail to keep His promise.

I don’t know what this year will hold. We have prayed and discussed and planned and done everything we can think of to make this year better. But we’re still a family of fallen, broken sinners, so struggles will come. We will pray to be stronger people and live on the grace He gives everyday. We will cling to the hope that He is doing something great in our lives and that one day we will see the benefit of our struggles.

Never pray for an easier life – pray to be a stronger person! Never pray for tasks equal to your power – pray for power equal to your tasks. Then doing your work will be no miracle – you will be the miracle.

We must remember that Christ will not lead us to greatness through an easy or self-indulgent life. An easy life does not lift us up but only takes us down. Heaven is always above us, and we must continually be looking toward it.

Some people always avoid things that are costly, or things that require self-denial, self-restraint, and self-sacrifice. Yet it is hard work and difficulties that ultimately lead us to greatness, for greatness is not found by walking the moss-covered path laid out for us through the meadow. It is found by being sent to carve out our own path with our own hands.

For today and tomorrow and many days ahead, I will continue to count the gifts He gives. I will count as blessings the beautiful days and the ugly days, the days I wish would never end and the days that cannot end soon enough. Because if the good things are gifts – sunshine and flowers and laughing children – and all things come from God who only gives good gifts, then aren’t the days full of tears and broken arms and broken hearts gifts too? Not because we are supposed to be all happy-Pollyanna about those hard things, but because of what God can do in our life if we will only submit to those trials. As I look back, I am lying if I don’t say that it is the ugliest, darkest seasons of my life that have worked out the greatest beauty. No, I don’t want them there, but my Jesus He did something amazing with those years and I wouldn’t know Him like I do, wouldn’t love Him like I do, if He hadn’t walked with me down those paths. And He continues to do something amazing with these broken years. Years where I struggle to lead and mother and love well and I fall into bed each night, feeling like I could have – should have – done more. And yet, He’s always there to pick me up, hold me close, and whisper truth into my heart. There’s something amazing about the grace that picks you up out of the mud and makes you clean and beautiful and lovely and once you’ve experienced it, you can never give thanks enough.

1984. Olympic watching with friends

1985. laughing hard

1986. four and one half hours of sleep

1987. coffee to get me moving

1988. time in the Word to get me focused

1989. long lasting rain

1990. all asleep by 8:45 last night

1991. candles flickering

1992. morning coffee (again)

1993. all these feelings of failing, inadequacy

1994. my God who carries me

1995. a twelve year old today

1996. feeling less crazy

1997. dinner at 9:00 p.m.

1998. beef broth spilled everywhere – everyone helping clean it up, including the dog

1999. only a few more days of summer

2000. lovely, productive Saturday

2001. date night happiness – finally cool enough to enjoy eating outside

2002. extended family reunion

2003. sleeping with windows open

2004. lazy Monday morning, last day of our summer

2005. all of this amazing grace

Praying that today you know His goodness and see the gifts He longs to give.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

quotes taken from my well-loved Streams in the Desert

Better…

July 30, 2012July 30, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Tonight was a night that called for copious amounts of chocolate. But I didn’t have any. So instead I am going to pause and be grateful for more of the countless undeserved gifts…

1944. oldest child off to her very first retreat

1945. releasing the burden of more belongings, weight lifted from house, life

1946. lying awake listening for God, looking for rest

1947. cleaning out more clutter

1948. Apples to Apples and the ballet recital on DVD – time with my girls

1949. snuggling on the couch with my beloved

1950. hearing all about the oldest child’s first junior high retreat

1951. house full with extra kids, friends

1952. rain!!!

1953. kids who sleep long

1954. free Chick-fil-A

1955. a day to celebrate our marriage

1956. the gift of marriage

1957. pastor’s current sermon series

1958. rest

1959. a nice day with my bookend girls

1960. Camp Enosh

1961. thirteen years of marriage

1962. computers and software that just won’t cooperate

1963. anniversary lunch

1964. the company of my oldest child

1965. sidewalk sale with two of my girls

1966. resting in the afternoon

1967. talking with others who are called and going to serve

1968. an unexpected family night at home

1969. Skyping with our girl

1970. seeing her eyes light up, that big smile

1971. seeking God on hard days

1972. a new day, a new week, a new start

1973. Ann’s words of late

1974. not being able to find my own

1975. this hope, an anchor

1976. words of hope everywhere I turn

1977. rain

1978. cooler temps

1979. furry dog

1980. new computer for school

1981. new-to-us bedroom furniture

1982. family taco run on Sunday evening

1983. watching the Olympics together

And I ask look back on these, just some of His good gifts the past two weeks, my heart is turned from frustration and impatience to thanksgiving and praise and that too is a gift.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Starting Again with Giving Thanks

July 9, 2012 / Sara Vincent / 1 Comment

It’s been so long since I’ve written consistently, I don’t know where to start. Life bubbles up around, books waiting to be read and reviewed, photos long to be posted and shared. Summer days find some paradoxical mixture of leisure and frenzy and I long for the routine of the school year while simultaneously denying its return.

As is the habit, though, the best place to start seems to be with giving thanks, by continuing to list the gifts, even when it begins to seem routine. For this wonderful listing of gifts serves as its own sort of journal of our lives and these crazy, joy-filled days.

1895. a new day

1896. fresh starts

1897. a clean fridge with one less glass shelf

1898. cold a/c

1899. school ordered for next year

1900. playing cards with my kiddos

1901. painting with the second born

1902. summer fruit

1903. children working and playing so well together

1904. sounds of a summer storm

1905. another cast removed

1906. a water slide that won’t inflate

1907. starting early

1908. a found wallet

1909. a truly restful Sunday

1910. enjoying the Olympic trials with my girls

1911. just spending time together

1912. vegetables chopped up in large summer salad

1913. warm bread out of the oven

1914. more work done alongside the children

1915. more furniture painted, given fresh face

1916. watching husband splash and play with our children at the local pool

1917. third born turning 9

1918. Legos, nerf guns, purse and dress – gifts for a girl of varied interests

1919. {accidentally skipping a number in listing the gifts}

1920. being bone tired and falling into bed after a long, hot day

1921. hot summer days

1922. time in the Word

1923. staying up too late talking with my beloved

1924. house picked up

1925. hours by the pool

1926. children learning, in a non-dangerous way, that not everyone who claims to be a friend really is

1927. swim lessons

1928. budgets

1929. 80* mornings

1930. all of these hot hot mornings

1931. laughing hard over Haiti tales

1932. wondering when she will be home with us

1933. July 4th

1934. freedom

1935. sleepy, slow moving kiddos

1936. watching the youngest find confidence in the water

1937. teacher friend who encourages, pushes, never gives up

1938. kitchen scrubbed clean

1939. dad who comes to help bury hamster on a hot summer day

1940. spending the evening with my parents

1941. getting our money’s worth at the pool

1942. another restful Sunday

1943. husband home, time together

I hope you are also finding time to remember the gifts He daily gives. What a wonderful legacy to list His gifts, and look back on His hand, His presence in each day.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Forty Five Years {A re-post in honor of my parents’ anniversary and Father’s Day}

June 19, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

This post was is two years old now, so today my parents celebrate their 47th anniversary. That’s so amazing to me. I’m still so proud of them for sticking together through some really hard times. And I’m still really thankful for my beloved who continues to weather the storms of life with me and makes me the most blessed woman on earth.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Today is my parents’ 45th wedding anniversary. Forty-five years. That’s a long time. My parents haven’t always had a great marriage. Sometimes I don’t know if they even felt like they had a good marriage. But they have stuck with each other for forty.five.years.

Matt and I have had, in my opinion, the second hardest season of our marriage over the past eight months. The first year was without a doubt the hardest year. It was the year I would have walked had I not been pregnant so soon after our wedding. I’m not proud of that fact. I just wasn’t strong then and was prone to looking for the easy way out. I often don’t feel I’m strong now. I’m just convinced that I’m in this for the long haul. I’m grateful for that early pregnancy. Not only because it gave us our first born, but because I honestly believe it saved our marriage.

The past several months have been a different kind of difficult. We’ve let life interrupt our marriage and haven’t made as much time to be together. Matt’s knee has kept him from running which had become a huge part of “us”. We stopped meeting early once a week and lost that time of communicating and sharing what God was doing in our lives. Because we don’t feel connected our words get sharp and our defenses go up. He says one thing. I hear something else. I respond without grace. And the cycle continues until we both feel broken and defeated.

As I strolled the aisles of WalMart – alone! – the other night, I talked with God about this and how I was so tired of it and how it was wearing us down. He gently showed me that when we get in these ruts I stop thinking about all of my husband’s wonderful attributes and begin to focus on his weaknesses or some perceived way that he’s failed me. And I can’t think the best of my husband when I’m only thinking the worst.

So, today, even though it’s not Monday, I’m counting some of the ways I’m grateful for the amazing man I’m married to, that I share this life with, that I will walk beside until “death do us part”.

his amazing, driving, never-ceasing ability to work hard, even when he doesn’t feel like it
his orneriness
how his eyes disappear when he laughs
his laugh – oh, how I love his laugh!
how he loves me
how he’s still so attracted to me
that he’s not afraid to push me or challenge me to do better, be better
his patience with me, the girls
his abundantly generous heart
that he’s a man of amazing integrity; a man of his word
that he’s never been willing to settle for a mediocre marriage
that I have no fear of him ever leaving me, that my heart is safe with him
knowing that the Enemy of our souls will do everything in his power to destroy this thing we have and that my husband is strong to defend us on his knees

As I reflect on my parents forty-five years of marriage and I contemplate Father’s Day tomorrow, I want to say thank you. Thank you to my parents for sticking together – through good and bad. You are now blessed to have a wonderful marriage for all your times of weathering the storms. Thank you to my dad for being courageous enough to go against the grain and take us where you felt God leading us, even though it might cost you your family. Thanks to both of you for the years you spent on your knees for me. You know now that God heard you. Thank you to my in-laws for raising such an amazing son for me to marry. Thank you to my father-in-law for breaking the cycle of divorce in your family and constantly reassuring your children that you would never leave their mother. Thank you for leaving a legacy of faithfulness to your children. And thank you to my husband, for sticking through that first awful year together and for never being willing to settle for anything less than a great marriage. Thank you for being such an amazing husband to me and father to our girls. I wouldn’t want to do this life with anyone else. I love you.

When Joy is Found in the Dirt

June 18, 2012 / Sara Vincent / 4 Comments

Home a week now and half my heart, it stays in Haiti. Those kids, their joy, it’s infectious and it gets into your blood and you never want to be cured of it all.

Two weeks ago in Haiti was wonderful and hard and beautiful. Where a shy, pensive girl was led to me in February a joy-filled, excited child awaited me when the truck pulled in, her arms lifted high, saying “Mami!”. Her smile, caught by a friend on camera, revealed pure joy, satisfaction that her “white mama” had finally come to see her again. All week she followed me, held my hand, touched me, leaned in hard on me, slept with me, ate with me, worked with me. Her happiness to simply be near me was humbling and beautiful.

Our little team worked hard on finishing the nursery, just built of concrete. We sanded and painted and painted and painted some more. We worked in close quarters and laughed and shared stories and made new friends. And my dear friend and I, we left early, our families and our responsibilities needing us stateside sooner and she and I talked long of orphans and help and hope. Now our families, long-time friends but long separated by so many countless miles, are rejoined in heart by this new shared love.

I come home, not exhausted this time, but filled with joy and anticipation of where God is going to take us next. Once again I fall asleep and wake up to the image of beautiful, brown-skinned faces in my mind and I wonder when I can get back there, when can we get our girls there, and how can we better serve these people. I give thanks for my family and for this life we have here and for allowing us to be a part of this wonderful thing He’s doing in a tiny land off the coast of Florida.

As we start a new week, my heart overflows at the goodness of God. The trials and fiery arrows endured leading up to our trip, they all seem so small compared to the joy of being with those kids. And my heart, it overflows at His faithfulness, mercy, and grace.

1846. robin on the fence

1847. sky torn open, rain pouring down

1848. playing stuffed animals with the littlest at home

1849. feeling hope, choosing hope

1850. seeing places we need to simplify life

1851. national donut day

1852. reconnecting

1853. a good Sunday

1854. one more day until I see our littlest girl

1855. exploring NYC at night on foot

1856. time with an old friend

1857. sweet littlest one so excited to see me

1858. her joy, her smile

1859. the Haiti trip I was longing for

1860. pink paint

1861. sanding concrete

1862. loving these kids

1863. her obedience when she really didn’t want to

1864. asking to sleep with me

1865. this glorious time with her

1866. this Haiti trip

1867. US soil

1868. a bench to sleep on in O’Hare airport

1869. reuniting with my favorite people

1870. an evening with friends – those rare friends you can go a year without talking to and pick up like it was yesterday

1871. sleeping in for everyone

1872. first pool day of the season

1873. thirty sponsorships in six hours

1874. seeking His plan for each day

1875. deep cleaning

1876. a nap on the front porch

1877. morning snuggles from the third born

1878. sleeping until 9

1879. second floor well-cleaned with the girls’ help

1880. waking up to youngest two singing, playing Monopoly

1881. cool sheets

1882. oscillating fan

1883. primer for the bathroom

1884. a beautiful couple

1885. a lovely wedding

1886. words not meant to be funny, but they make us roll anyway

1887. my dad

1888. his dad

1889. the father of our girls who…

1890. provides through his hard work

1891. reminds me to laugh

1892. is taking time to build relationships

1893. loves His Lord

1894. a perfect heavenly Father who fills in our gaps

“I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us.” ~ Isaiah 63:7a

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

The List is Long…But He Keeps Giving More

May 30, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

Needing to be reminded of God’s faithfulness, I spend this afternoon typing out the gifts listed by hand. The list is long as it has been too long since I sang His praises publicly. Pictures from the past month are interspersed to make the post more interesting. 🙂

1741. lovely Monday

1742. humility that comes with feeling dumb

1743. a clean first floor after dinner – gift from my girls

1744. early morning walk

1745. working around the house

1746. a cheerful Ellie

1747. last day of formal school

1748. painting in the sun

1749. meeting neighbor ladies

1750. bunk beds painted

1751. bathroom progress

1752. backyard sitting in the spring

1753. joy of the dog with her soccer ball

1754. joy of children on a trampoline

1755. dinner with friends

1756. good conversation

1757. beds sanded and assembled

1758. yard clean(er)

1759. time together

1760. watching the girls work together to organize and clean

1761. a lovely day at Deanna Rose

1762. rains parting, stopping

1763. just being present

1764. finally feeling like running again

1765. bread baking

1766. weekday lunch with my beloved

1767. leisurely Saturday

1768. chatting with the neighbor

1769. bike rides

1770. sick kids on a Sunday morning

1771. changing plans

1772. quiet with my Lord on the front porch

1773. little ballerinas

1774. an art show

1775. towering treees

1776. squirrels that chase

1777. Phad Thai “delivered”

1778. working together

1779. a perfect night to walk, laugh, run

1780. a picnic outside

1781. chalk drawings

1782. spray paint

1783. early morning fox on the run

1784. garage saling fun

1785. good advice from a friend

1786. second-to-last week of Thursday night madness

1787. picnic with friends

1788. date night happiness

1789. really good sleep

1790. girls’ room coming together

1791. fruit of our labor

1792. beautiful day to walk

1793. giant cotton candy

1794. shattered bottle of nailpolish

1795. pink grout, tile, trim

1796. adding to my summer to do list

1797. mothers of all kinds

1798. grocery shopping, dollars stretching

1799. five miles of hills run

1800. no more cast

1801. days that break

1802. little break throughs

1803. a quiet place to write, think

1804. three children who need so much prayer

1805. a house set on fire

1806. knowing God can bring good, even from these things

1807. a morning out with the girls

1808. the courage to speak

1809. the last “Thursday night madness”

1810. goals accomplished

1811. questions raised

1812. praying for answers

1813. painted furniture

1814. husband’s help

1815. ballet recital

1816. a long year finished

1817. a slow Monday morning

1818. lists being made

1819. two weeks til Haiti

1820. fun newborn session

1821. family who works while I am gone

1822. back yard forts and shipwrecks

1823. the power of a good story

1824. learning to smile

1825. sleeping in

1826. a squabble-free day

1827. a room finished

1828. a morning nature hike

1829. clearance rack flowers

1830. free dresser

1831. another broken arm

1832. wondering what God is doing

1833. learning and “remaining under”

1834. yard looking so much better

1835. late night tears and heartfelt conversations

1836. photos edited, beautiful family

1837. shopping lists made

1838. time with friends

1839. losing at every hand of cards

1840. a doctor’s appointment

1841. a leaky ceiling

1842. my mama

1843. one office visit

1844. a short cast

1845. three weeks to healing

My circumstances do not diminish God’s faithfulness. My thanksgiving does not increase His blessing. But my gratefulness opens my eyes to His faithfulness, even in the valley of life. As we walk the roads common to man, often filled with trials and tribulations, a heart of thankfulness is a heart that is open to the good that God is up to in the midst of a life that rubs hard against the soul.

May your heart be filled with thanks and your eyes be opened in hope to the goodness of a God who loves you wildy, madly, endlessly.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara

Indescribable Grace

April 23, 2012April 23, 2012 / Sara Vincent / 2 Comments

Sometimes an old acquaintance posts something to Facebook that makes you stop and think:

I have no idea if she was talking about me or not. Hopefully I wasn’t so bad to actually qualify as a “godless whore”, but you never know. I was definitely a bit of a mess. Either way, it got me thinking about so many things. Like how the choices you make and the reputation you earn can follow you the rest of your life. And also how amazing it is that a perfect and holy God can overlook it all.

I’ve battled against the Enemy’s lies this year and I finally feel myself becoming stronger again. God’s truth is once again drowning out the sound of defeat and discouragement and I feel myself rising again to do battle against the Prince of Lies. These words of healing played through SUV speakers last week….

There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”

But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You’ve been remade
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.

(You are More by Tenth Avenue North)

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/tenth-avenue-north-lyrics/you-are-more-lyrics.html ]

And those lies that my sins are bigger than my Savior have haunted me in my past and they’ve haunted me this year. The lie that all of my weaknesses and inadequacies, my struggles and my stumblings with these children, this husband, this life, that He’s not big enough to overcome it – all a lie from the one who seeks to devour and destroy.

A dear friend sends this quote yesterday from The Mother Letters:

It is a complete matter of trust that He will give our children what they need despite our shortcomings. ~ Rachel McAdams

And last night as we sat in worship we sang the lyrics,

Sing to Jesus
Lord of our shame
Lord of our sinful hearts
He is our great Redeemer
Sing to Jesus
Honor His name
Sing of His faithfulness
Pouring His life out unto death

Come, you weary
And He will give you rest
Come you who mourn
Lay on His breast

(Sing to Jesus by Fernando Ortega)

Oh the mighty Savior that He would bear our sins and shame and welcome us with open arms, a soft place to fall. And that He would cover over my weaknesses and fill in the gaps with His strength and healing.

So as I come back to the Facebook post that prompted this spilling of words, two things come to mind. First, for anyone young who happens to be reading this – what you do now matters. Who you are now matters. In a world of social networking and digital never-to-be-deleted connectedness, your choices now matter a lot. But the second point, and this is for the young person and everyone else – this God, my God, He’s big enough to cover it with His grace. Friends from fifteen years ago may not offer fresh-start grace, but Jesus does.

And for that grace, the thanksgiving never ends.

1714. four days, five doctor’s offices

1715. six and a half hours in outpatient care

1716. a mended arm

1717. a red cast

1718. my girl feeling so much better

1719. serving the hungry with my Chandler, my servant-child

1720. going to the airport to welcome home the Jayhawks

1721. making a memory with my girls

1722. feeling the weight lift

1723. James MacDonald study

1724. bearing up

1725. finding His blessings

1726. the annual candy toss

1727. Easter celebrations

1728. a Texas trip with my Emma

1729. evening with good friends from Matt’s past

1730. audiobook on the iPod

1731. discovering the joy of listening to a book

1732. last days of school – the end is near!

1733. pinpointing some of my struggles

1734. praying through changes

1735. a new office, a new chapter in our lives

1736. home school conference, lunch, and shopping with my favorite

1737. a two hour nap

1738. quiet girls

1739. Overflow worship

1740. relentless, overwhelming grace

All for His glory ~

~ Sara

A Different Kind of List…

April 10, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

I don’t know if it was the spring break or the broken arm or the James MacDonald video in Sunday school. It may have been the turning of the calendar page to April and the knowing that by the end of this month all of our school books will be put away. It could be the beautiful sunshine or simply the prayers of others. But something in the past two weeks has shifted. Something has broken loose and I no longer feel the weight, that burden I have born all year. I’m still more than ready for this year to be behind us, but I can face each day. I’m still totally over starting each day in the early morning dark and feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing come the end of the day, but soon that too will change.

And I give humble thanks for what the Lord has been showing me, that the bearing up under the trial is where the blessings are gained. That my idol of a “manageable schedule” is just that – an idol. And while I still firmly believe we have bought a lie about how busy we must be and how much we must do, I still can find peace and strength in Him as we finish this crazy year off. I thank Him for showing me that my younger girls still need to be read to at night and washing the hair of my oldest (for this short season) is a blessed gift. That handing off my role in our business feels a whole lot like sending my kid off to college and it’s hard but He has purpose in that too and a quiet relief comes with it.

This year has been a wild, rough ride. But I can see glimpses now of His purposes. Purposes of teaching me flexibility and greater trust in Him. Teaching me to have faith in Him and what He’s up to in my kids and trusting Him for results I may not see for years. A purpose of teaching me to go even deeper into the Word, further into prayer. Establishing systems in our home to foster encouragement and kindness and thanksgiving. Reminding me of the joy of making my home beautiful with my own hands.

He has carried me. And He will continue to carry me. More hard days will come, perhaps more hard years. But there will be purpose in those as well. And He will be with me. And I will continue to give thanks.

Catching Up and Giving Thanks

March 28, 2012March 28, 2012 / Sara Vincent / Leave a comment

This morning we sit quiet. Two middle girls are gone for standardized testing. The youngest, she’s not old enough to test yet. The oldest, she rests still, nursing a broken arm today. And I am thankful for this week. An unplanned Spring Break that our minds, souls, and bodies needed. Nothing planned. Just quiet, semi-structured days. And I marvel at how much this has ministered to my home schooling heart; I, who typically does not take a spring break, and how well my girls have responded to the break. Five weeks remain when we return. The end is near. 🙂

So, the broken arm… Our second born has been begging to go to the skate park. She got a skate board for Christmas and apparently our driveway isn’t exciting enough. So, last night, on a beautiful spring evening, we ate dinner early and loaded up. When we arrived, the child who had begged to go wouldn’t even get her skate board out because there were some teenagers there and she was embarrassed. (She won’t admit that, but that’s what happened. I know, because I would have been the exact same way. Some teenagers still make me self-conscious. 😉 ) But the first and third born children, they snapped on their roller blades and went for it. And we weren’t even there five minutes and Matt comes over to me helping Grace hold her arm and no one’s crying or even seems upset, but the wrist, it looks strange. And he says, “I think her arm is broken.” Three hours, increasing pain, a trip to the ER, and some x-rays later, she was home with a splint, and feeling pretty slap-happy thanks to Tylenol-3. Today she will rest and lay low; perhaps we all will, and tomorrow we will see what the orthopedist has to say.

This morning as I was getting ready it just intrigued me that God knew this was going to happen last night. He knew we would only be at that park five minutes before she fell. And I just find it so interesting. I’m not upset about the arm or the expense or the inconvenience. I feel bad for Grace, but these things happen. But I am waiting expectantly for God to show me the purpose of this, the why. I know He will. Nothing is by chance; He allowed it for a reason.

It was sweet to see the other girls so concerned and compassionate. One would have thought we were going to a funeral for all the tears the youngest shed. And the third-born cut loose a scarf she had been knitting in the truck for her grandmother and gave it to Grace to use as a sling. And Emma was concerned, she just showed it differently, through cautious questions and worried expressions.

I am thankful this week and this morning my heart feels full, in spite last night’s events. There are so many things on my to do list, but the slowing down is a gift to us all. God is so good.

1684. a new day

1685. IBESR case number

1686. lunch out with a sweet friend

1687. Haiti girl’s 5th birthday

1688. Skype and her smile and shy nod

1689. grease burns

1690. “Hot & Ready” pizza

1691. just going to bed

1692. looming project finished

1693. sunshine!

1694. Miracle cream for burns

1695. Bradford pear blossoms falling like snow

1696. sunshine and afternoon prayers on the porch

1697. fine arts competition

1698. girls who use their gifts and one who stretches herself

1699. friends, Sol Cantina, and a Jayhawk win

1700. quiet Saturday to rest at home

1701. day of rest that was actually restful

1702. watching the Jayhawks with my favorite people

1703. Final Four bound!

1704. wonderful end to a wonderful day

1705. the smell of spring

1706. walking to the park

1707. “Father May I” and charades with the girls

1708. a quiet day at home

1709. eating dinner outside

1710. girls excited to paint the playhouse

1711. oldest child’s broken wrist

1712. compassionate, merciful sisters

1713. precious friends for all of us

A friend posted this on Facebook recently:

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'” – C.S. Lewis

This year has been long and I wear it on my sleeve and share it with the world and I thank all of you for being such precious friends to me through prayers and encouragement and hanging in. I am blessed by the encouragement I receive from so many for simply sharing my heart and what God is doing in this broken life. He is merciful and you all are so kind. Thank you.

For His Glory ~

~ Sara